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Since Then
Contributed by
wray
on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 01:40:04 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
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Five summers ago lived you and I: we swam beneath the overhang of weeping willows. "Love me," wept I, as the stars chased dust across an uncaring universe.
That was back when life was gold; the grapes were sweet, and we plucked them from the vine to taste the sweetness of our youth; the sour of my love.
Days leaned into sunny days; but things have changed since then.
Now nights fill the void; to be strong is to stand alone, and to remember, I must weep; for my tears have not dried since those days and my love will stay, unquenched, and now.
Maybe all has not really changed. You left my world but your fingerprints will not fade and I love the way the willows hang, sleeping in the shade. And the earth still spins; the grapes are still sour and sweet; the grass still grows and the stars still will race for an endless time
until we meet again.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2004-06-04 01:40:04] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Since Then
(User Rating: 1 ) by Butterat_Zool on
Friday, 4th June 2004 @ 02:44:37 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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I know there's a lot more to the two poems that you've posted so far than this, but i just cannot get over your forms. It's really weird because this poem doesn't have and actualy form or rhyme scheme that it follows through the lines, but it's somehow cyclical enough that it FEELS like it has form, which is an effect that i have never seen in any poem anywhere before, and it makes the pyhsical act of reading the poem enjoyable on its own, without even taking into consideration the meaning of the poem. As for the content of the poem, it's a very nice love story... Your use of details is just specific enough to make it vivid, but not so specific it becomes boring, which is a very subtle balance that you achieve with ease. Very nice... When the next one come out? Butterat Zool. |
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Re: Since Then
(User Rating: 1 ) by holderofthestone on
Saturday, 5th June 2004 @ 03:24:17 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*agrees* great poem, unique and beautiful. very good work!!!! |
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Re: Since Then
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Thursday, 10th June 2004 @ 12:11:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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this is bold and powerful. The emothion is well felt, I love this, I have never in all my life read somthing as captavating as this. |
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Re: Since Then
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 07:57:27 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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These words are very good although I must admit I have yet to experience this kind of love your words give clarity to it very well. |
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Re: Since Then
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Thursday, 1st July 2004 @ 09:16:55 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Brimming with emotion, this is a great write. |
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