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This Room
Contributed by
AnaBanana
on
Monday, 7th June 2004 @ 03:47:28 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
The air is cold in this room where I sit,
the walls are empty and gray.
The floor is hard and the sky is dark,
I increasingly hate it each day.
I stare at the walls on the floor where I lie,
dwelling on being alone.
But the more I think, the more I hurt,
so the thoughts in my head I let go.
I've given up hope that someone will come
and rescue me from this room.
They don't understand, but they think they do,
the things I'm being put through.
I always ask and they never tell,
but still I wonder why,
no matter what I think, they always say
I'm better off here where I lie.
Copyright ©
AnaBanana
... [
2004-06-07 15:47:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: This Room
(User Rating: 1 )
by rockergirl94 on
Saturday, 6th August 2005 @ 01:51:20 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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Your poem really projects a bleak atmosphere, which is what you're going for as far as I can see. You did a good job of keeping a feeling of hopelessness throughout the poem, and I really like your line "dwelling on being alone". It really hits home.
-Julie |
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