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If Only
Contributed by
bluoreo
on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 04:34:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
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He comes for me in my sleep These visions, I want to keep He wipes away all of my fears He kisses away all of my tears
We walk side by side My arms are open wide I hold him close to me Our love, the whole world can see
No need to take it too far That's just the way we are I am mature enough to wait People do it too soon, I'd rather do it too late
His hand in mine Our hearts intertwine Being as close as this We share our first kiss
My body goes weak His fingers tickle my cheek Our eyes are closed As our love grows
My body begins to shake My heart is his to take And there'll be no mistake If I shall never wake
Copyright ©
bluoreo
... [
2004-06-08 16:34:07] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: If Only
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 04:38:04 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Young love is a marvelous thing. Sweet poem. You do a good job with rhyme -
I would suggest challenging yourself to some more difficult rhyme schemes |
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Re: If Only
(User Rating: 1 ) by Living_In_My_Dream on
Tuesday, 8th June 2004 @ 04:43:44 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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wow, that was soooo cute...one day...your wishes will be fufilled...your great with rhyming so yeah Id suggest the same...I think youd be a great writer...your doing great keep it coming keep it up....it was filled with so much feeling so much thought very powerful write...I loved it...it reminds me of my first kiss very much so...so I know that you will have it fufilled if you meet them half way...lol great write....
read and comment my stuff...I'd love to hear what you think...if you want...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: If Only
(User Rating: 1 ) by Hurretje on
Wednesday, 9th June 2004 @ 07:47:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Romantic togetherness..isn't that just all we need in life..someone to truly bond with... Good write!
Hugs,
Hur |
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