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CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
Contributed by
strange_lindsey
on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 02:53:32 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
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Years have passed she isnt a child anymore
Once was enough, she's unlocking the door
She gave him a chance to redeem himself and live
He took it and now she's ready to forgive.
He let her know all the secrets he'd hidden
Apologized, embarrassed for the forbidden
In the most refreshing cry
They opened up without asking why.
And for the first time he told her he cared
This was the first time; a hug they shared
Finally she felt like she had a father
Where before she very tried to bother.
She'd never imagined so much happiness
She thanked the lord, her prayer he blessed
And for the first time in awhile
She could feel on her face a smile.
She never believed her dreams could come true
In awe she sat knowing not what to do
She never felt this good before
Excited to find what else was in store.
(The End) *Version 1*
Copyright ©
strange_lindsey
... [
2004-06-11 02:53:32]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
(User Rating: 1 )
by holderofthestone on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 02:58:50 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| nicely done, strong and emotional. great poem. A+++ If this is a true story for you Im glad and hope things continue to go good. |
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Re: CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 06:30:20 AM AEST
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A happy ending to a rather disturbing tale. I'd like it if you could change the following line;
"Where before she very tried to bother."
I didn't really understand it.
But anyway - I think the way you exposited your trauma in rhythmic verse shows you have found strength in maturity to deal with any future adversity in an objective, reasonable manner.
Thanks for the inspiration. |
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Re: CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 08:32:49 AM AEST
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Lindsey, I am so thrilled for you that your trip to see your father worked out so well. I like this ending and I hope it gets even better for you. I have enjoyed this series of your work.
Rita |
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Re: CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
(User Rating: 1 )
by brigitte7735 on
Friday, 11th June 2004 @ 02:14:34 PM AEST
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This is so amazingly beautiful, I'm so happy for you
( though i am still damn curious as to how it originally ended )
Always,
Vanessa ( 090404 ) |
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Re: CHiLDHooD iNNoCeNCe (VoL. 6)
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 23rd June 2004 @ 07:37:39 PM AEST
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amazing he was forgiven after all that, your talent and creativity shine in these poems, all so heartbreaking and intriging, if its not to much to ask i would love to read your alternate version as well, big hugs n' loves ya, nessa
@->>->:- |
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