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failure
Contributed by
deadbloodyrose
on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 10:51:35 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
the line is marked for the perfect place
where the single cut should be made
with confidence the knife digs in
blade follows the precise guidelines
trails of blood follow the knife
pale white skin covered in deep red
everything looks fine standard book procedure
skin is ripped apart and laid on the body
everything is visible to the world now
bones lay there calmly held in with rods
cautious hands pick up new sterile tools
slowly the intense work finally begins
silence is pierced with high pitch beeps
red lights flashing franticly
blood begins to flow out like rapids
everyone rushes trying to help in any way
beads of sweat drip off frightened faces
hands bump into each other trying to work
everyone stands around the six foot bed
heads hung low consumed with dissapointment
finally the machine is shut off bringing silence
sheet is drawn over the 16 year old face
slowly the workes file out without a word
one man is left in the room with his failure
Copyright ©
deadbloodyrose
... [
2004-06-12 22:51:35]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: failure
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Saturday, 12th June 2004 @ 10:59:20 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
i'm glad that it didnt work out that way otherwise I wouldnt be able to read your writing which by the way is great...I loved this...very emotional and lots of feeling that makes it a powerful masterpiece!
much love,
Dani |
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Re: failure
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 08:22:33 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wonderful style and flow, an excellent piece, held my attention and left me drawing an intake of breath........ hugs n' love nessa
@->->>:- |
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Re: failure
(User Rating: 1 )
by xXxFaygoFetishxXx on
Sunday, 20th June 2004 @ 02:09:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Ami Jo, I am glad that your surgery went well.
If it didn't I would have lost a great friend,
and the world a wonderful poet.
::Elizabeth:: |
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