|
 Menu
|
|
|
|
|
Social
|
|
|
|
|
Lake Of Memories
Contributed by
Arius-Inues
on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 08:31:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
I stand on a rock,
Releacing memories,
In the tears I shead,
Dropping to the lake,
With a soft and gentel,
Splash,
The lake is like no other,
For it is formed with,
my tears of blood,
From the cuts on my wrist,
And the tears,
From my bloodshot,
eyes of blue,
Many try to help,
But try to heal,
My wounds,
With knives anr rasors,
All life has drained,
From my soul-less body,
My fingers releace the grasp,
From the bar I once held,
Falling into the lake,
The blood starts to pour,
All the memories I once had,
Are now in the lake,
And I drown in the,
Lake of memories.
*PLEASE REVIEW AND POST A COMMENT!!!*
Copyright ©
Arius-Inues
... [
2004-06-14 20:31:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
Advertisments:
|
|
|
|
|
|
Sorry, comments are no longer allowed for anonymous, please register for a free membership to access this feature and more
|
|
All comments are owned by the poster. Your Poetry
Dot Com is not responsible for the content of any
comment.
That said, if you find an offensive comment, please
contact via the FeedBack Form with details, including poem title
etc.
|
|
|
Re: Lake Of Memories
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 08:44:04 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
okies, first of all i dont know why your pleading for comments when your poem itself is wonderful and can hold its own, your story within this is excellent, yet a few spelling errors, and i think id fall into the sea rather than a lake lol, you show a beautiful talent and your poetry does not 'suck'; otherwise it is perfectly written, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
|
|
Re: Lake Of Memories
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 14th June 2004 @ 09:02:44 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is a great write.... well done. The imagery here was amazing..
If you need help with your spelling or someone to edit your work before posting, feel free to PM me...or you may click on the YES for the spell check when submitting..
Jenni |
|
|
Re: Lake Of Memories
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:06:00 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
I concur with the previous two. You started this off excellently, but I believe you were gasping for air in the lake metaphor you made by the finish. Which is strangely fitting.
No-one's poetry sucks . . . well,, some people's poetry sucks, but that's my opinion, and opinions, some philosopher said, are but the reflected light of the moon, against the blazing truth of the sun . . .
Keep writing, and please stop pleading. People will read your work - just give it time. |
|
|
Re: Lake Of Memories
(User Rating: 1 )
by Arius-Inues on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 03:02:45 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Well I know that people are reading it, but what I really want is to hear some feed back on what they thought of my poem. |
|
|
|
· 
Poetry
Community
Members
Areas
Reference
Search
Top
Others
