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Death Alone
Contributed by
jt
on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:07:16 AM in AEST
Topic:
Suicide
|
He shivers as he sits alone in the dark
On a cold floor, listening to the rain
Images flash through his mind from his life
As he drowns alone in his pain
Needing to turn to someone for help
But everyone passes him by
Why doesnt anyone care anymore
Alone he has lived and alone he will die
The noose swings silently from the rafters
The box beneath on the floor
His breathing slow, his heartbeat slower
As he stands up to lock the door
He's sick of the hate and pain he has seen
He steps on the box and looks down
And realizes exactly how small he is
In this world as he stares at the ground
The rope in his hands lays silent
The noose falls down past his eyes
And comes to rest on his shoulders
As for the last time in his life he cries
The tears stain paths down his cheeks
As they fall to the floor where they stay
He tightens the noose, he cant go back now
The pain is too great and he must get away
Then a kick and the box takes a fall
His feet stopping inches from the ground
No movement at all, he is silent
Another one caught in the pain
who has drowned
And he thinks nothing of what he has done
His last vision was that of the moon
As he leaves his body forever
And turns and walks out of the room.....
Copyright ©
jt
... [
2004-06-15 07:07:16]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by diamond_tears on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:18:52 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| wow that was fantastic. the imagery.... wow xx |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by willow_tara72002 on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:21:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
This was really sad,. .and written detailed enough that i could see it like a movie in my head,..I dont know what else to say.. just that this one was really upsetting to me,.
-Amber |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 07:25:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
You really found your rhythym as this poem got going. Some great images, and the end was strong.
He steps on the box and looks down
And realizes exactly how small he is
In this world as he stares at the ground
Thought that was nice. |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by hooray_its_jen on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 08:33:26 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Very good, you have a lot of talent. You did a nice job at describing some of the images and even some emotions the person felt. Well written.
~Jenna |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by deathdrop on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 08:41:16 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
very sad, stuff!
but how-ever, i LOVE your syle though.
i hope this didn't happe in real life though. |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by screwup on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 09:54:23 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is a truely amazing poem...alltough it was so sad, I loved it. keep them coming. |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 11:54:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
this is amazing, sent shivers down my spine,
pixie xx |
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Re: Death Alone
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Tuesday, 15th June 2004 @ 05:31:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| that was one of the best poems i've read lately. you captured the feelings of the moment and i felt so sad reading it. |
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