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Bittersweet
Contributed by
ben
on
Thursday, 17th October 2002 @ 08:30:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
The problem with you is you cant take life, make life, so you fake life. Turn everything around you into an illusion of whats real. But its not real. Cant you feel? You dont like truth cos it hurts, and when youre told, you look at me like dirt, try to escape or ignore it, implore it to go away. But beneath, underneath your large impossible mirage, it lingers. Look at your fingers. They shake when you hear. A sheer kind of fear envelopes you when Im near. In case I remind you, you think if I find you youll remember youre really here.
You pretend youre made of granite or on another planet Cant be true can it? Or arent you like the rest of us? Different somehow like an endangered species preserving yourself even now, For what? Ill tell you what. Youre a silly cow. You had everything with me and you didnt know it, when I tried to show it you recoiled from my touch. Is it too much? Or is it such a hard thing for you to do? to give an explanation, or more information about why there was no indication to me of what you wanted. You kept quiet at night in the hope that I might just disappear, just go away and youd never have to say what youre feeling. Im still reeling. Just dont tell me you dont need anyone. When youre cut ,dont you bleed? I have a yearning, a lust for learning about you. I have to confess, it was hard to second-guess you all the time, and Ive disdain for the pain I felt when you wouldnt confide in me, so I went along for the ride, but never lied to you about what I thought. Went to a great length even when you told me you thought you were caught, trapped, sapped of your strength.
Ive come to realise itd be no surprise if you blamed me for your dad. But I had nothing to do with his death, didnt engineer his terminal breath, Did I? Did I give the prognosis of deep-veined thrombosis?, or the diagnosis of scirosis of the liver? Or murder him in cold blood? do you think I would? or even if I could? Tell me please If I injected him with some terrible disease, like legionnaires, AIDS, HIV. Could that have been me? Under oath Id swear no
Trust me, Im not a doctor
But youve no belief. Im too much of a bastard to feel grief. But I felt it too. Felt I should hide it from you, to give you some relief from the pain you were going through. Youve no idea. You werent here when your dad died and I cried myself to sleep, because I felt I knew him through you.
Hardly any of your family knew me. thats how you wanted it to be. Had no interaction cos I was just a great distraction from the real world woven perfectly into your figment of the truth, you little girl. What makes you think you could play with this twit and get away with it? Eh? Do you think Im thick? Cant I see you in your little clique? Pulling the strings to make things difficult for me? You make me sick, and leave me to regret the day we met, and yet, I love you.
Copyright ©
ben
... [
2002-10-17 08:30:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Bittersweet
(User Rating: 1 ) by addie on
Sunday, 20th October 2002 @ 04:33:46 AM AEST (User
Info | Send
a Message)
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it's actually bitterly sweet ... very good poem. .. keep it up
take care
addie |
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