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you broke her
Contributed by
jenni
on
Saturday, 19th October 2002 @ 03:40:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
She walks in silence as she thinks of you her life gets harder with every passing minute she is not with you anymore that facts kills her a little more each day.
she walks down a deserted street, not knowing where she is going, but she has to get away from you, from me, from herself, from everything.
she turns s corner to see you standing ther, only it is not you, she is imagining youre everywhere she looks everywher she goes she wants you back she needs you
she keeps walking into the darkness she wishes she could still be with you you are the only reason she lives, she loves you more tha life itself.
she stops, her tall, gorgeous figure leans against a wall she is so delicate and confused so fragile and easy to break and you broke her
she begins to cry, crying tears for you Did you really love her? Or was it all a lie? she was afraid to show her love to you, afraid of letting you down
she continues to walk, deeper into the darkness, she remembers you, your hair, your eyes, your touch if only she was still with you.
As she is walking she sees something shiney on the ground She picks it up. she examines it. it is but a razor blade.
she slowly and delicatley brings the shiney metal object to her soft white wrist. she pushes it into her skin she moves the blade to make a scar
She is frightened, so scared and sad she looks down at her wrist she is slowly bleeding to death she realizes she is doomed to die
She says " i love you" To noone in particular but it was meant for you and with one last breath she lay down to die.
Copyright ©
jenni
... [
2002-10-19 15:40:00] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by emystar on
Saturday, 19th October 2002 @ 06:18:12 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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RREMMAARKKAABBLYY WRITEN!!!!!!
Hi Jenni,
You've captured this story so well!!!
I felt her agonies along with you!!!!!
Even tho sad, reality bites!!!!!!
Awweeeesoooooommee!!!!!!
PEACE, LUV, FRIENDS,
emy |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Saturday, 19th October 2002 @ 06:49:33 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Well done, Jenni.... you have captured the feelings well....
Jenni |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by LOWMAN613 on
Sunday, 20th October 2002 @ 08:49:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A very nice write,Good job with writing her feelings! Christina |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by meg on
Tuesday, 22nd October 2002 @ 02:46:30 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i know exactly how she feels, i use to be so outspoken, but now im not w/ him anymore, i dont wanna go on, i just wanna go away, so i do certain things to get away, i cant take it, ive tried to take it all the way but i get way to scared and stop myself |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by Twinky on
Tuesday, 22nd October 2002 @ 08:36:20 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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i think it is great that you wrote a poem about a situation your friend was going through, it was a really good poem.... keep up the good work! |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by Angel12881 on
Tuesday, 22nd October 2002 @ 12:35:24 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very well done..You really captured the emotions of the girl. |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by InexactExactness on
Wednesday, 23rd October 2002 @ 06:11:29 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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truly tragic and heartbreaking yet told in a way where you have to read it again just so you can understand it that much better. thanks for the feelings |
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Re: you broke her
(User Rating: 1 ) by RICHARD_CAMPBELL on
Wednesday, 30th October 2002 @ 01:02:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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HI,JENNI,
THIS IS SO SAD,I HOPE AN PRAY YOUR FRIEND IS ALRIGHT.
THIS IS AN EXCELLIENT WRITE.WHEN LOVE ONE'S LEAVE,I TRUELY HURTS.
BUT REMEMBER ANOTHER DAY MEANS ANOTHER CHANCE.DON'T GIVE UP SO
QUIKE.LIFE HAVE A WAY OF SURPRISING US ALL. |
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