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State of mind
Contributed by
Hannah_Heaven
on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 04:10:48 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
you havent been your state of mind
your panic over whelm by this fluid
to detoxicate the poison
i wish my mind could be rid
but here it lingers on
forget not
the memories wrap round and knot
you may of held my hand
but you separate and let me stand
all alone in the city of shadows
surrounded by all these maddos
drownding in my state of mind
i hope someone will find
a piece of my heart lying on the ground
beating silently without a sound
and treasure the gift
and may it lift
the lives of every person around
forward a bound
of love and unselfish pity
and form the most beautiful city
from just my state of mind
my imagnary life
of a sacrificed dream
to hold on tight
in the dead of night
in my heart
unlock the secrets
till my mind finally bleeds
and i sleep forever
in just my state of mind.....
Copyright ©
Hannah_Heaven
... [
2004-06-21 16:10:48]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: State of mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by Colleen on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 05:54:29 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Something about your poem is really catchy. I love it! Even though I can't relate to what you said all that well, I thought it was amazing. |
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Re: State of mind
(User Rating: 1 )
by angelav on
Monday, 21st June 2004 @ 10:07:25 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Powerful imagery. Lots of emotion. Make more use of rhythm and pacing...even free verse can be easy to read. Great job! |
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