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In My Dreams, Tonight
Contributed by
xslashxprettyxskinx
on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:38:56 PM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
You left me broken and bleeding on the floor
To control the pain and help my soul restore
Until the last breath is consumed and you unlock the door
I'll let it out slow and wait for more.
I walk alone outside and in my mind
I hold my own hand and talk with my own kind
I gather whats mine and whatever else I find
I'm giving you up now and leaving this behind.
...You can open your eyes now...
Copyright ©
xslashxprettyxskinx
... [
2004-06-25 17:38:56]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:41:19 PM AEST
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Niiiiiice, Lindsey . . . I love this new style and you should definitely try it again sometime, though the pain in this makes me want to hug you :). Beautiful poem, I loved lines 3 and 4 especially.
hugs,
Nora |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:50:54 PM AEST
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awwww...
hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 06:15:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Well done and well expressed. |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by imaginary on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 06:29:32 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Reading it gave me goosebumps. It has a really good flow, too. Excellent work. |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 08:23:30 PM AEST
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It is definitely different for you, but I do like it. Try a little more and see if it is comfortable. It is becoming on you!! lol
Hugs,
Rita |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 09:25:07 PM AEST
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wow yes i liked this one a lot too...very very good keep it up...I liked the way it flowed...
much love,
dani |
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Re: In My Dreams, Tonight
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Saturday, 26th June 2004 @ 04:00:43 AM AEST
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Damn--I never thought the term "serene urgency" would ever see the light of day, but this conjures those very words. I rather enjoy the four-line rhyme, and i'd love to see you develop it--as this was exceptional. Oh, and that ending...simply beautiful.
Fallen asleep never to awaken,
-V.S. ( 090404 ) |
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