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No one will know
Contributed by
torn_skirt
on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 05:53:30 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
Ever since i was 14, i watched myself live life, i havent lived it myself. All my feelings were shot, and pushed to the ground, and there, they were burried.Now, i sit curled up in the corner with my long, dark, stragially hair, and my big black boots watching myself. I come in, and out, not noticing the sad little girl trapped in the corner. I watch myself go on dates, and fail math tests. Watch movies, and eat sushi. She hides herself-she hides me, in the coner of the room, or the back of the theatre, or in the chair across from her. She hides me in the darkness of her mind. This all began when i actually lived my own life. Not that girl with the fake smile on her face. I reliazed that i was truley depressed while laying under silk blankets on my bed-the happiest place, i thought, there was, My mother and father fighting in the next room. Screaming...glass breaking, drunkin' smacks and blood on the phone. The next month we moved. We moved here. I left my content behind. My happiness still sits in the nooks and crannys of my old red carpet in my bedroom where, now, my dad has placed his bed. My soul also left me. But it didn't stay with my conent. It travels along beside me, and keeps quiet, afriad that if it speaks,it will say something wrong, and get totally disregaurded. I long for my content. I long for my soul, and my body to find each other. But instead, I'll wait, sitting in my corner, and watch as I put on a show for everyone around me.No one can find out about the darkness that i keep hidin in the back of my mind. No one will know that this smile isn't real. No one will know that i cry myself to sleep almost every night. No one will know.
Copyright ©
torn_skirt
... [
2004-06-25 17:53:30]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: No one will know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 06:20:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is very sad but good, hang in there. |
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Re: No one will know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 06:32:52 PM AEST
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you have a unique style
PFR |
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Re: No one will know
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Friday, 25th June 2004 @ 10:07:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
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To be honest, I struggle to make it through writes that are presented in paragraph form... but you drew me in somehow. You have a very strong and honest voice. I like the imagery that you used here and do think this was a strong piece. I guess that many of us know this feeling... lonely, aching, frustrated. It will get better... trust time to make a difference.
Welcome to YPDC! I do hope you keep posting here (though I'll secretly be wishing that you make use of the enter key *smile*)
SNM |
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