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KaZaA SyndromE
Contributed by
01_zanzebar
on
Sunday, 27th June 2004 @ 02:26:44 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
well we open
the discrete perversion of law
the disgraceful lines
the diabolical columns
blue horizontal search
disgraceful desires
fingers itch for bodies
heart sinks to the low
makes me feel so dirty and pathetic
but its my life
sadistic
depressive
worthless
unloved
the words recur on the screen
flipping down, thousands of pictures and films
to satisfy my horrifying lust
pick and choose of the poor victims
sit and loose my self respect
sick, Iam, I know it
every click
brings me closer to my inevitably demise
I know what I do is wrong
I know what it will do to my life
but Iam too compelled
Iam too messed up already
to change now, is too much
I will keep wasting my life in front of paedophilia forever
tragic loss, I care not
for the instant thrill
i cannot heal nor ale
this is what my unseen side is
festering over a screen of depravity
pathetic and stupid
wasting and abusing
its my history
that depicts my future
I cant help what Ive done
and I find it impossible to change myself
life is hard
and so is my style
which may explain some of my tendencies
which wont excuse me in courts
which wont make me different
Ive been who I always Have been
I dont change as I like the way Iam
This is my greatest defeat
That I have to comply to the rules of love and attraction
That Iam forced to be pitted to such lows
And such a grievous misuse of media
Iam just as bad as those whom I obtain this filth from
This is the only thing that sanctifies me at night
That there was always someone else who is worse than me
This is the person whom I fear inside myself
Lurking until I evolve
As a curse for the future
From the tragedy of my past
If the law says its true
And the papers condemn those too
Then this blue line is right
As a waiting time-bomb, Im adjusting the dial
It is the sad reality of being a young paedophile
Copyright ©
01_zanzebar
... [
2004-06-27 14:26:44]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: KaZaA SyndromE
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 27th June 2004 @ 06:03:34 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
well I must say this was well written my guess is that this is about porn or child porn either way you should seek help and stop living within your tormenting 'secret'.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: KaZaA SyndromE
(User Rating: 1 )
by faffeee on
Sunday, 27th June 2004 @ 06:47:58 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| my first reaction when i read his was disgust, because what you talk about here is disgusting and horrifying and sick. but it seems you know that what youre doing is wrong - so get some help, and quickly, before someone gets seriously hurt. |
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Re: KaZaA SyndromE
(User Rating: 1 )
by 01_zanzebar on
Monday, 28th June 2004 @ 06:30:10 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
its not a big thing, its just the fact that i do it is the real issue i have with myself, and i do have a limit to what i download and its not that dangerous to what ive heard from the news and stuff. my problem, all i know is young girls, though iam 18, i would never go out with anything less than 15, but i still have a history of underage sex, and thats why i do it i suppose, its not my fault in some respects, but i could still of avoided it in th first place, thanks for the constructive side, i was feelin really depressed when i wrote this as well. |
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