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Rubies
Contributed by
darkfairy1188
on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 11:18:40 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Rubies.
You compared my lips to them.
Rubies.
Red like blood.
You made me bleed that day.
I thought I hated you.
Wanted to make you pay.
Yet I still love you.
Though I cant see why.
Rubies.
The color of your favorite tie.
I wanted to strangle you with it.
You always made me cry.
We didnt seem to fit.
And yet I cant seem to give you up.
I love you too much.
Rubies.
The color of my face when you made me blush.
That was quite often.
Your lips were so lush;
When they softened.
You were always angry with me.
Said I was headstrong.
Yet you fought for me.
Even when I told you it was wrong.
Rubies.
Always the color related to blood.
You shirt was sodden with blood that day.
So I guess thats why they say;
Men are stupid for fighting duels.
But rubies are such exquisite jewels.
Copyright ©
darkfairy1188
... [
2004-07-05 23:18:40]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 5th July 2004 @ 11:41:21 PM AEST
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| very intriguing piece. =] |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by veruca on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 12:26:43 AM AEST
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Morbid....I loved how you compared the color of rubies to blood and what looked and was that color.
emotional as well...I LOVED THIS POEM!!!!
lov ya,
veruca |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by dreaded_Axe_of_gore on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 12:50:05 AM AEST
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| Wow that really describes how I feel! |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Mortis-Dark on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 12:51:11 AM AEST
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Not a shabby write. Good Job.
(V)ortis-Dark |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:29:51 AM AEST
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interesting, love your ending:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 03:09:24 AM AEST
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Your final rhyme seemed a little forced, as the link was a little tenuous between blood and rubies, as I don't find that there a predeliction against 'crimson blood', as opposed to 'ruby red blood'.
You kept your poem in the right direction throughout, however. I do like the way you equally separated your use of the word 'rubies', and it was a colourful theme.
I am intrigued by your number, also - that is one of the reasons i clicked on your poem.
Thanks for sharing this. |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 04:45:40 AM AEST
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wonderful write,
pixie xx |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Katie2008 on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 07:43:20 PM AEST
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Wow, that's EXACTLY how I felt! We could be SOUL SISTERS! I loved this, this was one of the most unique [and that's a good thing!] pieces I've read for a very long time. Love you!
Katie |
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Re: Rubies
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lee on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 07:38:16 AM AEST
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Poet at Industrial Colosseums Unbound
Says:
I like your title. Why don't you mosey on over to the mystical/mysterious poetry and read and comment on my poem Tiny Red Rubies (Not Like in the Movies) ? I'd 'ppreciate muchly.
Well-written ryhmed verse, good visual imagery, and good word pairing "jewels" with "duels"!
Jolly Good Show! |
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