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next year
Contributed by
rain
on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 02:24:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
Event
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Im getting married next year towards the end of may when flowers bloom and doves sing
im getting married next year it seems so far away but grows closer with each passing day
im getting married next year on the day we meet there are so many things to do so many things to make
im getting married next year although im nervous i cant wait cus hes the one that owns my heart.
Copyright ©
rain
... [
2004-07-06 02:24:39] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: next year
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 6th July 2004 @ 03:31:34 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*cries* This is not what i should be reading right now....
Anyway, this is really good, I like it very much, stick with it. |
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Re: next year
(User Rating: 1 ) by Psyche on
Wednesday, 7th July 2004 @ 10:51:36 PM AEST (User
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You tie in the first half of the last stanza nicely with the earlier comment about it growing closer. This helps me to feel your "nervousness."
Perhaps you could add a stanza in the poem to help the reader understand the last half of the last stanze, about why he owns your heart, or why you feel this way about him.
I enjoyed the poem, made me feel "excitedly nervous" for a momwnt of reading. However, I don't know a great deal about poetry - just learning myself... so you may do well to dismiss me! Good Luck! |
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