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For my lil trooper Caity
Contributed by
bohemian_with_a_pen
on
Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 07:05:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
She walks in and our eyes meet
As I nod to her in a slient greet
She sits down, someone on her lap
I wish that was me, I think as I lower my cap
I glance away, I cant stare
For she is beautiful and I should not dare
Later on we talk and I glance to and fro
As u tell me something that u say not many people know
I dont know what I can say, how to comfort u
For ur a great chick and I dont know what to do
I look in ur eyes, silently pleading
And inside im slowly bleeding
Shes a beautiful girl, I wish she could see
And shes a smart little cookie, smarter then u or me
She the funniest little thing I have ever known
And inside, shes not just flesh and bone
Ive only known this chicky for a while
But it feels like together, we have walked mile upon mile
And maybe u dont know but I do care
And for u, im always there
Copyright ©
bohemian_with_a_pen
... [
2004-07-13 07:05:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: For my lil trooper Caity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Tuesday, 13th July 2004 @ 08:13:09 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Not bad. I hope he uses complete words next time |
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Re: For my lil trooper Caity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 05:59:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I thought this was sweet, it could of been much better,
i could show you how id you like
but i give it a 4/5 |
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Re: For my lil trooper Caity
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 09:34:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| great write to start out with, but i agree with archie. also some change in words and more substance. being redundant doesnt get the point across any better. but this has a lot of emotion put in it, which is excellent. =] |
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