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Until
Contributed by
wray
on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 10:34:26 PM in AEST
Topic:
LostLove
|
Until the last petal falls
And the rose you left for me crumbles to red dust:
The yielding and rust of living things,
As paradise is lost forever,
Wilting in my eyes.
Until the world divides
And the seas rise up to block you from my eyes;
The earth erupts in fire and cold
And paradise is lost forever,
Scorched on a black plain.
Until our breaths stop
The last gasp as a gushing wind that hugs us in farewell;
So to the end we can feel each other,
Til paradise is lost forever,
Drifting away on a breeze.
Until the stars burn away
With anger and beauty, leaving us
Alone in a vacuum of hollow and finality,
Where paradise is lost forever,
Haunting in the deeps.
Until you let my hand go
And your fingertips leave mine and air rushes in to
Push you far away
So that paradise is lost forever,
Running fast from me.
Always will I love you,
until the hourglass shatters;
until the light is out.
Copyright ©
wray
... [
2004-07-14 22:34:26]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by blueheart on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 10:49:55 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
Wow, wray this is amazing. Its got to be one of the best poems I've read today.
Always will I love you,
until the hourglass shatters;
until the light is out.
Those lines...it sealed the perfection.
Your writes keep getting better and better. |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by drummerchic18 on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 11:06:04 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| very good |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by kimmany on
Wednesday, 14th July 2004 @ 11:54:24 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
That's beautiful...
xx-kimmany |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 15th July 2004 @ 06:20:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
HOLY CRAP!!!!
This is the best, adn I mean the single best poem i have ever read in my enitre life! I am in awe, this is just...wow...how do you do it?
This is unbelelivable wray, to sya "good job" or such would not be credit enough. |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by evilfairy on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 07:34:15 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| this is a fantasticly visually and emotionally stimulating poem. i like it. great work :) |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Sunday, 18th July 2004 @ 09:07:25 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| This is a great poem well written and with lots of heart. |
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Re: Until
(User Rating: 1 )
by theMoth on
Friday, 23rd July 2004 @ 02:20:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Your writing is very effective. What else can I say, but this cat is good!--the Moth |
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