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Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
Contributed by
fionndruinne
on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 12:45:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
mythology
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Blood-soaked was Tiras brought back In a bed laid in Valamaur For life was yet lingering in him Though his wounds were dire.
Skillful physicians strove to heal him His people made prayers for him His sons stayed nigh him But on the third day he died.
Deol his son was beside him When he drew his dying breath And he wept for the great mans passing Dear to him as father and lord.
But then came Valad his twin A valiant man ever, but haughty His heart did not grieve with the others But sought after sovereignty.
The lordship had passed to Deol In him was his fathers choice For he was true of heart and humble But his brother hated him.
Valad sought Deols birthright But he surrendered it not For Valad was unsuited to rule Bitter words were spoken then.
A bier was now made ready For the fallen one to be borne From the bed of his death to his bygone hall There to be readied for burial.
To the street Tiras was taken With Deol walking beside him And Ardael touching the harp-strings Lamenting the mighty ones fall.
Behind them were many who mourned They followed the bier in silence Until they came to the hill-roads foot And there they respectful remained.
Up the winding way went the bearers As the westering sun bent its reddened ray Upon the towring windswept hall Lighting the thatch like burnished copper.
Through the dark-shadowed doorway they entered And lay the body on a table of stone But the silence of that shadowy room Was shaken by a sudden din outside.
A group of men, gathered by Valad Bearing blades and guttering torches Stood at the gated archway of stone And Valad called out to his brother.
As free gift thou wouldst not give The inheritance that I desire Now in this place shalt thou die An thou dost not swiftly grant it.
But Deol did not yield to him And Ardael his brother beside him sprang Denouncing Valad for this dishonorable deed But the rebel heeded him not.
so death is thy choice he cried And threw his torch at the halls roof But by the force of the cast the flame was quenched And struck the thatch giving no scathe.
Then Valad cried out in fury And drawing his sword bade the attack A hundred firebrands flew at the hall And springing flames flared in the darkness.
At the doorway Deol made his stand As his followers found weapons in the house Then flung themselves into fierce fighting In a courtyard lit by red flames.
At the hills foot were they who had followed When the body of Tiras was borne thither They saw the flame and heard the din And hastened up the slope.
They saw the desecration of Valads lust And in fury they flung themselves Upon the last of the rebels followers Tarrying not that they had few weapons.
Thus Valad perceived in the wrack That his force was assailed from behind At his shout they fled into the night Vanishing among the darkened hills.
Behind them the hall burned brightly As the roof collapsed into the fire Within the body of Tiras was consumed In the woeful ruin of his house.
Evil was that night in the city of Tiras As swift rumor sped through the streets And sides were fearfully chosen As the brotherhood of the city was rent.
Several were they who followed Valad For his influence was very great Many were they who fled in the night Families hurriedly forsaking their homes.
The dawn came to a woeful day As Valad arrayed his men outside the city And the soldiers of the king marched to oppose them With Deol silent at their head.
Swords and helms flashed in the midst Of the hosts drawn up for battle Bright sunlight shone on the green plain As Valads horn hailed the attack.
A long and arduous fight lasted Until the light began to fail Deols warriors proved victorious Valads following withdrew into the wilderness.
So did Deol win his kingship Divided by Valads evil devices As the rebels vied in desolate wildlands And Valad built his plans anew.
Copyright ©
fionndruinne
... [
2004-07-20 12:45:58] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Archie on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 02:29:28 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You told a masterful story. |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by yellow_sundragon on
Tuesday, 20th July 2004 @ 05:09:05 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Very good Andrew, and a masterful story... I hope that there is a part 3
Jaime |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 12:34:04 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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A great tale, i love the way this is written almost like a historical fact.. Just think in a thousand years from now when people read your work they wont be able to distinguish fact from fiction thus history will have have suitably been corrupted! nice one.
wildejohnny.
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 04:02:31 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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brilliant! anyone who has not read part one i hope they do; this is so enchantingly written, i am softly taken and drawn into that land far and away, always wanting to read on, another masterpiece here andrew!! hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by lovingcritters on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 07:48:57 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Oh My I was sitting on the edge of my computer chair...reminded me of two stories in the Bible. One was Esau and Jacob, and Esau sold his birth right for some red meat. The other was the fascinating story of Davd's son Absolm who tried to over throw his own Father's throne....ended up in a tree after being hung by his own long hair!!!
This was very exciting Andrew....you really drew me in....I enjoyed it from beginning to end!
Fantastic Story teller you prove to be!
Poetic hugs
consue |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by blueheart on
Wednesday, 21st July 2004 @ 09:47:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You are a master story teller. Yes, like lovingcritters said it did remind me of Bible tales.
You kept my attention throughout the whole piece.
Very nice. |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 24th July 2004 @ 11:33:23 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Amazing!
A brilliant piece, and a stunning story
(i apologise for not commenting previously ;) )
Shame on me. lol
I was missing out.
I couldnt keep my eyes off this, I just had to keep reading.
Great write my friend,
Phil xxx |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Wachumiri on
Wednesday, 28th July 2004 @ 06:55:29 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Suitably corrupted... ? Sure! Why not? Works for me...
Another masterpiece.
Take care,
David |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by arden on
Thursday, 29th July 2004 @ 02:22:16 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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*blinks*
wow farm boy, this was amazing.
it read so well and was just wow lol
im very impressed with this.
well done.
5 stars
Arden |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Stitch on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 05:59:17 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Fascinating, but I suspect this is only the outline...the bare bones upon which you will yet hang many threads. A variety of colors I feel are yet to come---everything from jeweltones to gray armor and golden crowns. The picture has been drawn, but it is not yet complete.
Stitch |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by liquidsunshine on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 08:10:39 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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You brought me right into the tale. What imagery! The language just rolls off the tongue. I could listen to this kind of poetry for hours.
Nicely done.
Lots of love and peace be with you,
Chelsea |
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Re: Song of Tarath II: The Rebellion
(User Rating: 1 ) by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 3rd May 2006 @ 08:45:49 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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win win lost.. everyone trying to get to the top, others take over.. what is tops... shaking my head, nice try all ... win win win.. lost here.. another deep breath for a nice write.. moves me to say... rebel on earth ... from father to son to son to son.,.,. daughters in there somewhere.. fion... greed... this poem has got to educate fools.. I tell ya.. who is on first... will people please get in control.. and stop this sillyness.... your write shows just that.. and I say.. another masterpiece .... your poem is a win win..... in that it tells just how foolish man can be.... trying to get up ahead.. someone else takes the top.. steps down, up, down, up down.... lots of pushups going on....
RaquelLeah |
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