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To My Detriment
Contributed by
Mr_jeremy
on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 06:45:27 AM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
I walked with the Dinosaurs
And ate at their table.
No cutlery was required,
As Dinosaurs have small claws
And rarified table manners.
I flew with the pterodactyls,
Over the fuming volcanoes.
No wings were required
As Pterodactyls have big wings
And believed in my word.
I swam with the Hainosaurus,
Deep down into the fertile seas
No fins were required, as I
Could hold my breath for hours
And mosasaurs feel honoured.
Yet, across all these planes
I never knew of man.
I only knew his shadow,
Ecliptus - the darkling peer.
And him, I shunned with pride.
Through aeons, this peer knew
Me and I, plus grinding bones
Were doomed to wander waters;
Die with the Dinosaurs,
Rise through volcanoes,
Soar o'er the skies ...
Like Ash.
And Kill.
Copyright ©
Mr_jeremy
... [
2004-07-22 06:45:27]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To My Detriment
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 22nd July 2004 @ 09:09:36 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I think this poem is very good, although it's spoiled by the humorous (?) sentiment at the beginning;
"As Dinosaurs have small claws
And rarified table manners."
If you'd changed it to reflect the serious nature of the rest of the poem, I'm sure it would be a remarkable piece.
Welcome to YPDC, by the way. |
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Re: To My Detriment
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 11th September 2004 @ 10:29:56 PM AEST
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| interesting write. very good. |
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