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Rainy Days Remind Me
Contributed by
Eve
on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 12:48:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
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In some distant day of life's ascent
Before it went down a rather steep descent
Tatters were cloth's ends and not the whole sleeve
Mending was not replacement and you having to leave.
Now tears course and mingle with the sky's own
Recalling the very first feelings of being alone
I watched red lights evaporate through misty eyes -
And I was never strong enough to say goodbye.
Lightning and thunder will never again rumble merrily
And I never before realized that the rainy days remind me.
Long left behind shreds of memory
Are of naivte leading to anarchy
Escapades down a hollow hall
Every time you stand, you're going to fall.
And I'm still remembering how it used to be
Entertainment always through creativity
Writing a skit to a larger play
New opinions integrated every day.
Floating dandelion seeds drown in rivulets quickly
And I never before realized that the rainy days remind me.
Run on unpaved roads to places you shouldn't be
And groundless weight will become an endless sea
Ill thought-out plans never cease to go awry
Use featherless wings and you're never going to fly.
On the cold stone wall there, see memory's tapestry
Trying is futile when you want to be free
The poisonous fangs of remembrance slip through
What has become old can never be new.
Somehow life has finally lost its simplicity
And I never before realized that the rainy days remind me.
Copyright ©
Eve
... [
2004-08-02 12:48:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by ExoticDreamer on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 12:55:27 PM AEST
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| This is a lovely verse about reality and realization. Nicely penned. A beautiful message. |
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 01:11:26 PM AEST
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I thought this had some brilliant moments, and these, my favorite:
Tatters were cloth's ends and not the whole sleeve
Mending was not replacement and you having to leave.
Now tears course and mingle with the sky's own
because I liked it so much, I will offer an opinion that it would be even stronger if you edit it a bit, so that each statement, wonderful in it's own right, gets the attention it deserves here. Save something for another write!
Nice job
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jackee_line on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 01:17:35 PM AEST
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| Well done , i enjoyed it greatly. |
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 01:44:08 PM AEST
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Beautiful!!! Thanks for the memories...
Jenni |
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Monday, 2nd August 2004 @ 01:47:59 PM AEST
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This is truly a masterpiece. It was so full of melancholy, beautiful verses and awe inspiring in its writing style that I am just dazed from reading it.
Gorgeous and then some...
Kie |
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Vitreous_Soul on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 06:13:43 PM AEST
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I've waited quite a while for you to finish this one...and it was worth every second of waiting. I can feel every up, every down, every bit of this. It's nothing less than incredible.
"Long left behind shreds of memory
Are of naivéte leading to anarchy"
"Floating dandelion seeds drown in rivulets quickly
And I never before realized that the rainy days remind me."
"The poisonous fangs of remembrance slip through
What has become old can never be new"
Those are among the best lines you've ever penned. What else can I say; painful memories of happier times, and the realization of innocence lost...amazing work, all the way across.
Keep writing...and never stop,
-V.S.
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Re: Rainy Days Remind Me
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 8th November 2004 @ 03:17:57 PM AEST
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"Entertainment always through creativity
Writing a skit to a larger play"
Now, there's things I like. I'm a patient sort, so took the time to have a look around your stretch of ground again...
Keep writing, p-l-e-a-s-e. |
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