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Dying within
Contributed by
holderofthestone
on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 08:47:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
throw away the shards of my soul
wounded to deep
time itself cant heal
slip into something more comfortable
your shroud of death
more suitable
grip the last fading breath
suffocate the thought of me
bury it away
remember the times
the bad the good
the few we shared
hold in the sweet taste
exhale the tender words
the ones you never told me
fade away with the rest
leave me
dont look back
for in this grave
of lovers games
we rest for ever
and are amused with the solitude
twisted mind
to match your smiles
your fake front
translucent pasts
we all have troubles
we face them differently
I am your trouble
yet you wont face me
you fade like the rest
to leave and progress
as I wither
crumbling despair
reaching out
from this soilders grave
this war for love has left me numb
bruised and battered
my soul remains
for reasons unknown
I still struggle
in this futile world
that just wont die
Copyright ©
holderofthestone
... [
2004-08-03 20:47:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 08:55:54 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| powerful, excellent, well written, intriguing, and well presented emotion. =] |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by gery_giggles on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 08:59:22 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow..great poem.i liked the word useage.
luv always |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by zenmind on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 09:02:57 PM AEST
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a Message)
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This is well written. I don't really know what to say about the piece in its wholeness, but there were some lines that caught my attention. I liked the 'slip into something more comfortable' line. I thought it was well placed. Plus the line 'exhale the tender words. The ones that you never told me' captured that feeling perfectly. Great job, and I hope you can keep a positive attitiude even though you are hurting.
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by hoist1atca on
Tuesday, 3rd August 2004 @ 09:35:08 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I enjoyed your poem-
Sometimes love can be cruel-
Often at timesit is only an illusion-
But always the heart has to foot the bill-
Keep looking for true love is unconditional-
undeniable-unrelenting and unquestionable... |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by kyletycz on
Wednesday, 4th August 2004 @ 02:55:17 AM AEST
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I agree with you in the fact that most things in this world seem futile, and i know plenty well that atempts with the opposite sex most often (at least for me) are nothing but bits of futility wrapped up in an eye pleesing gift thats nothing more than pandoras box, but try to keep an open mind, and an open heart, and some day some good will happen to you...
l8r
Ninja Tycz |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 4th August 2004 @ 06:10:52 AM AEST
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a amazingly expressed poem filled with emotion, love your work,
pixie xx |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by Living_In_My_Dream on
Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 01:28:54 AM AEST
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an amazing powerful brilliant write...I liked it, very good as usual...
much love,
Dani |
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Re: Dying within
(User Rating: 1 )
by MDodgen on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 12:01:25 PM AEST
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hold in the sweet taste
exhale the tender words
nice word usage, i really liked these lines. good job. |
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