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Loneliness in the Grass
Contributed by
MoonlitMyst
on
Thursday, 5th August 2004 @ 11:58:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
Nostalgic
|
Endless/'dead-end' dirt roads
Led to most enchanted lands;
"Nowhere," someone called it, once.
This I'll never understand.
City crashing into country,
In waves of rolling hills.
Suddenly, my lungs would sing,
As I could breath the air.
The waving grass was two feet long
My private, golden ocean.
And with a tad o' luck, the day was grey,
Much preferred to the hot sun.
T'was on the dirt that I would flop,
To take in my surroundings.
To comtemplate, to dream, to think,
To find a bit of grounding.
As the wind picked up cold ashes,
From old fires left to smolder,
I didn't have to stay so long before
Loneliness tapped me on the shoulder.
I'd turned my head with a smile,
As it was her company I had sought.
Then willingly, I offered my hand,
And she helped me to get up.
Hands entwined, we walked the path,
That laid sprawled out before us.
Leaving behind sweet memories,
And the wind's echoing chorus.
Copyright ©
MoonlitMyst
... [
2004-08-05 23:58:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 12:06:16 AM AEST
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A peice of heaven on Earth.
Luvly writing.
huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 07:49:58 AM AEST
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I think this is beautifully written.
I liked all the verses.
Very good work! |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by brew on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 08:53:36 AM AEST
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| Peacful , and good write! |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 10:45:07 AM AEST
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How very lovely. You talent is great. Will be watching for more of your work. Welcome to YPDC. You will find friendly caring poets here. I do hope you enjoy your stay with us.
Rita |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by AspenGlow on
Friday, 6th August 2004 @ 02:55:59 PM AEST
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There is nothing like a stiff breeze to clear the air and mind.
Thanks for sharing. |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sagacious on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 12:05:13 PM AEST
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I am yet, now, hanging on to that final line, the wind's echoing chorus, repeating it softly to myself, that I might invoke memories of Loneliness, from times when I embraced it wholeheartedly. Working backward through your beautifully evocative poem, I encounter again those "hands that entwine," which so comforted me when it was not (however well-intentioned) a Caring Soul for whom I longed, but Solitude. That simple personification, which imagines the Void as companion, is the hook in your poem to which I latch myself, willingly. Therein lies my "grounding," as it does for you--in cold ashes, / From old fires left to smolder. It is in quiet moments alone, left to ponder, that our memories may be internalized, and become something more than an after-glow of a piece of life which is lost to us.
Indeed, we are the product of successive moments, progressing one from another, building us to a whole which is greater than any of those moments in itself. My own pivotal ones seem also to ecompass grey skies and vast expanses of grass: epochal vistas, transcending the goings-on of ordinary days. We seem to have much in common. Thus, when next I escape the "somewheres" of others, retreating to those "nowheres" where the likes of us may be found, I'll think of you, and the gorgeous images you bring to life through your writing. Thank you for all you have contributed--to be sure, it does not go unnoticed. Forever Your Fan, -KAC- |
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Re: Loneliness in the Grass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 05:28:14 PM AEST
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I like the way this is correlated through sequential prose and rhyme - it works well with the expression.
"And with a tad o' luck, the day was grey,
Much preferred to the hot sun."
Companionship personified by the sunshine - shunned in favour of . . . melancholy? I find loneliness a little 'off', somehow . . . but it does remind me of a famous Cobain lyric;
"I miss the comfort in being sad"
Enjoyable read, worthy write.
Thanks for sharing it, Moonlit. |
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