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a foot note tradgity
Contributed by
loss_silence
on
Saturday, 7th August 2004 @ 11:10:50 PM in AEST
Topic:
oops
|
watching out into the view watching out over you. a nervous sweat my soul turns blue watching at what next she will do, falling walking away from this. i know its what had to be done no time for one last kiss. no time here for goodbyes no time for what we liked, or all that we needed. i sit here now so confiused i wonder now if i was used cant think on these things no,... you never looked back for me. but i see-----but i see you----looking to the future looking so good now. imagine your daughters and theyll grow up proud just like there mother so tall so strong theyll always look down never remembering never just feeling. like you theyre cold and emty sirens all beauty on the outside and...here ill stay watching you as you look away watching here from behind the glass ill watch over you for all time even if only from the past.
Copyright ©
loss_silence
... [
2004-08-07 23:10:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: a foot note tradgity
(User Rating: 1 )
by tlhInganHom on
Sunday, 8th August 2004 @ 12:50:41 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Well, it has potential, definately, but it badly needs some sort of structure.
Perhaps...
watching out into the view
watching out over you.
a nervous sweat,
my soul turns blue
watching at what
next she will do,
falling walking away from this.
Or something similar to that. As a big block of text, it's very off-putting and difficult to read. |
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