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Watch Me Bleed
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 03:19:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Upon the alter of your heart
I place my offering
I sacrifice myself to you
I go down upon my knees
Willingly I come here
With no sense of pride
Wishing you could understand
All the things I feel inside
But you wouldn't if you could
And I can't make you see
So you just stand there
Waiting silently ~
And Watch Me Bleed
I enter into your chapel
And I speak the words of grace
Longing for acceptance
To rain down from your face
Still your eyes are blinded
They won't turn my way
I don't know exactly
What I'm supposed to say
Then your words cut like a razor
Deep down inside of me
And you just stand there
Waiting patiently ~
And Watch Me Bleed
I've tried so hard to fight it
I've tried to just say no
I've tried to walk away
And not let these feelings grow
And I've tried to understand
Your power over me
And you just stand there
Waiting longingly ~
To Watch Me Bleed
Its almost like you need ~
To Watch Me Bleed
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-08-09 15:19:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 04:10:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| excellent write. =] |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by poet_of_anger on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 04:18:44 PM AEST
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Wow, this is great. I know how this is, exactly, really i do, i believe you have read some of my stuff, and i think we are very much a like. Great job,
Poet |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Monday, 9th August 2004 @ 04:59:11 PM AEST
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|
I have to repeat it - wow.
This is a very good write, though those last two lines are kinda creepy... I love the effect of the poem though...
I hope that you can shake her power over you though... before you permenently hurt yourself....
Jaime |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by lovingcritters on
Tuesday, 10th August 2004 @ 11:31:12 AM AEST
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You have marvelous empathy, Naz, and that's a must, if you want to be a successful poet! In this poem, I feel your emotions, and you have painted a picture in my Mind's Eye is that lasting and I will remember until the day I die. Great Imagery, but must caution you as well, one the reasons you return is because she isn't seeing you, and if I was you......I learned how to fly again real soon. This lovely lady has no feelings of love.....or she couldn't stand there and let you bleed so!
Enjoy your poetry tremendously!
Lovingcritters
consue |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Tuesday, 10th August 2004 @ 01:29:10 PM AEST
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This is an excellent write...good job
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 03:37:39 PM AEST
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I told you you'd be seeing more of me! Excellent piece! Full of emotion, a painful desire to be accepted, and passion... I loved ths piece, and once again, i know exactly how you feel... Naz, your poetry shall forever be etched in my mind, and change my world... Beautiful! And yet, I feel anger towards that person who inflicted this pain upon you... You don't deserve this anguish. But I wish you the best in life, and love... Always, all my love! Your dearest ami, and admirer...
Write on, Naz...
Fleur de souffrance... |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 21st January 2005 @ 12:34:39 PM AEST
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| hmm... interesting. Sounds like something I'm familiar with. Anyway, nice write. |
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Re: Watch Me Bleed
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 8th August 2006 @ 08:04:26 PM AEST
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First ... I gotta say .. 212 poems?? Holy CRAP snazzy!!!
Okay .. now .. about this uhm .. piece. It’s so emotional and deep, my friend.
Incredible just how much we find when we are willing to search from the depth
of the soul, eh? Exquisitely expressed sorrow here, hun. I am at a loss for words..
I feel this one so intensely I almost couldn’t comment. It’s sad that there are those
that must endure ..
Beautifully torturous, my friend
~Breezy
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