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Hollow man
Contributed by
Luka
on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 08:34:07 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
The World continues turning
Like a never ending dream
the hollow man searches to end his final dream
sail the 7 seas
drift across the ocean
the hollow man looks
to find a certain person
searching familiar places
looking for familiar faces
the hollow man looks
through different kinds of books
And the World continues turning
Like a never ending dream
the hollow man searches to end his final dream
he lurks in the shadows
much like inside of him
he walked across the desert
the only person there was him
he climbed the highest mountain
but did not find that person
And the World continues turning
Like a never ending dream
the hollow man searches to end his final dream
he walked upon a stream
and peered into the water
when he saw his own reflection
he found that certain person
And the World continues turning
Like a never ending dream
the hollow man awoke
to end his final dream
Copyright ©
Luka
... [
2004-08-11 20:34:07]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hollow man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dierna on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 09:06:18 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| It's okay, it could have a better line for the end of the refrain. Spelling needs some work too, but other than that, I like it! |
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Re: Hollow man
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Wednesday, 11th August 2004 @ 09:26:50 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| yeah not bad, it's got a cool idea behind it |
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Re: Hollow man
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 12:00:02 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This is a lovely write.....but I'd suggest you check the YES button when you are submitting your poems and they will check the spelling errors and fix for you...(Just a suggestion)
Jenni |
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Re: Hollow man
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 06:54:29 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
This is a good poem...and it does have a good idea behind...this is a very good write
Lots of Lvoe
CrimsonTears
P.S. I'm glad you think my poetry is really great...it feels awesome when people tell you they enjoy your poetry....it gives the author a good feeling and makes them feel more needed in a way...now that im done thanking you lol ill read some more of your poetry...and again this is a good poem |
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