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Because Absence
Contributed by
Sagacious
on
Thursday, 12th August 2004 @ 03:32:15 PM in AEST
Topic:
ChristianPoetry
|
Some fear
it's the eyes we cannot
see, watching us,
because: who watches?
because: the watchers
must be entertained,
or else see some benefit
from the watching we
cannot ascertain;
Others delight
in deep-seeded notions
of inherent auspices,
such that: we are not alone.
such that: our lives remain
no mere exercise
in pointless excursion,
nor in the vagaries
of disconnection.
Copyright ©
Sagacious
... [
2004-08-12 15:32:15]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Because Absence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 06:57:55 AM AEST
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An intelligent observation, which I found to be spoken both eloquently and succinctly.
Thanks for sharing this one. |
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Re: Because Absence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 07:44:41 AM AEST
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You have such pointed words. I always enjoy this infusion of thoughtfulness (meaning full of thought) that you bring. I especially liked the ending - perhaps this is where I fall.
Nice job. |
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Re: Because Absence
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 08:53:57 AM AEST
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| This is a very good poem your words bring form to what people try to explain to themselves everyday. |
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Re: Because Absence
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitMyst on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 11:48:19 AM AEST
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I would hate to think that we are here as mere playthings for the "watchers." I would be sorely disappointed if I were to enter my next life (assuming I have one) to be congratulated on my performance by a mysterious entity, who'd watched the twisted movie in which I had starred, kicked back with a bucket of popcorn. It'd be especially disturbing to think (s)he saw all the nudie scenes!
There is a part of your poem that confuses me, and I'm sure you have your reasons, but why do you leave the "we" at the end of the line with "watching," instead of moving it to the next line, so it reads, "We cannot ascertain?" I kept asking myself, "What does he mean by the 'watching we?' " until I re-read it as, "we cannot ascertain." Perhaps you could post a comment reply to my comment?
:)
I'm not sure I quite delight in notions (which are definitely not deep seeded for me) of inherent auspices, but the thought does bring some comfort. Also, knowing that there are watchers, doesn't really take away my "vagaries of disconnection." There's no telling that when we disconnect, we, too, become a watcher. This is my hope, however.
A very powerful poem that demonstrates the ways in which people can be either (or both) frightened or/and fascinated by the ethereal (or faith.) At the very least, it makes one think a bit. Flows smoothly with an excellent use of vocabulary! You are: amazing, incredible, magnificent! Of course, I imagine you know this. ;)
Forever a Fan at your Feet
-Myst- |
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Re: Because Absence
(User Rating: 1 )
by MsScissors on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 03:34:46 AM AEST
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| Isn't it funny... hmmm. the vouyerism of the universe as comfort and as threat. the is-not watching the is and vice versa. |
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