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Still
Contributed by
Silent-No-More
on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 05:19:04 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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I am but happenstance
Barely worthy of moments glance
Pale in comparison to your light
I am starless nights,
to your days, I travel on tiptoe
Still today
I know only hesitation
Wrought with timid consternation
I am so little to your more
I am locked doors
To nowhere, I'm hiding inside
Still scared
I become hopelessness
Condemned then to remain aimless
You move ahead, I backwards
I am empty words
To your song, pathetically
Still wrong
Copyright ©
Silent-No-More
... [
2004-08-13 17:19:04]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 05:32:49 PM AEST
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This is beautiful, SNM . . . there's emotion, power, and somehow --not sure how I can explain this, exactly-- dignity, here. The last three lines had me dumbstruck and I love them to death. Actually, at the moment (lol) they're now my new msn name because I can't stop them running through my head over and over again.
This is near-flawless and one of the best poems I've read in a while. *hugs* I hope things improve for you and soon . . . you deserve a happy ending :).
Glad to see you posting again, btw.
still murmuring the last three lines over and over,
Nora |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 05:38:45 PM AEST
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Your self worth shines brightly in your poems. Your solemn thoughts and somber words speak volumes. I would so love to read from you, a heartfelt positive poem. The way you artfully phase your feelings ... I have no doubt that it would be anything less than spectacular. I hope and wish for your happiness to be returned someday soon. "I know only hesitation, Wrought with timid consternation ... " excellent line.
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Friday, 13th August 2004 @ 06:02:58 PM AEST
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I just happened by and saw this post of yours. I'm very glad I did. So helpless, so hopeless...........Sighs.
Perfectly written
Very well done
Roses
Larry |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by WinterFawn on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 09:33:10 AM AEST
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| This brings about that same feeling I get as I stand under a star-filled sky...gazing up and feeling insignificant in my smallness....this is a very remarkable piece that is loaded with meaning for me..whether I interpret it the way you meant for it to be doesn't change the fact that it is very beautiful poem...and I am sure the everyone that reads it will get their own understanding from it. That is the mark of an exceptional writer...to touch each individual in a unique way. |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 10:06:33 AM AEST
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This is breaking the block?!
Wow, are you sure you have a block?
Lol.
This is brilliant SNM.
So very sad, i love the way you kinda describe how you feel...
many many hugs, Phil xxx |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 10:31:17 AM AEST
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Awwww SNM A sad, but beautifully written piece... thank you for sharing,
pixie xx |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:17:18 PM AEST
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Makes me wonder who you're comparing yourself to in this poem, to expel such a flood of melancholia.
If its written with more than what your poetic licences permits, I'd suggest you stop and only consider comparisons with yourself; from whom you've grown, and from where you've came.
Keep being silent, no more, no more . . . |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 15th August 2004 @ 09:08:26 PM AEST
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hmmmmmmmmm don't you remember what I said about you??
tap..tap..tap
But very beautifully written. |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Wednesday, 18th August 2004 @ 11:59:02 AM AEST
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This is good. One of your best, I think. So full of raw, powerful emotion.
Stitch |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by pvd on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 08:17:16 PM AEST
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I feel the lonliness, like being adrift in the sea of humanity or groping in the darkness cast by the shadow of others. Good poem, captures with emotion. I've been there, I hope you are not.
PVD |
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Re: Still
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 21st May 2006 @ 01:18:22 AM AEST
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You are quite the poetess! This drew out some spontaneity in me and I just found myself wanting to give you a big ol' bear hug.
So here goes....
*big ol' bear hug*
Timber
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