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To Be Determined By You
Contributed by
solnubis
on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 07:54:39 AM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
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Why do I determine who I am by what your opinion is of me? Why do I long for you to accept me for who I am? Why do I expect you to understand me? What makes me think that you will listen to what I have to say when you havent in the past. Yes you gave me many material things and for that I Thank you. However what I was looking for was for me to know that you loved me for the person I was. I needed to know that you believed in me. That I had the skills I needed to grow up with. I wanted you to know that I loved you but I didnt feel that from you. Yes you gave me food, shelter, clothing, in which I am very grateful for and feel I have showed you this through out my life. However at times I felt you wanted more from me or was it that, I wanted more from you? I just wanted to know that you my mother loved me because you did; not because you had to. I wanted to be able to communicate with you but never felt that in my heart. I dont comprehend why I have always felt this way towards you. I have never felt that compassion and guidance that every child expects from their mother. Sometimes I want to tell you Im scared to face life and afraid to die. But I just dont see you as a person who is capable of giving me what I need from a mother. I think you have tried but it was just not there to give.
Copyright ©
solnubis
... [
2004-08-14 07:54:39] (Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: To Be Determined By You
(User Rating: 1 ) by inoc on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 08:21:58 AM AEST (User
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a Message)
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All the best with your mum...
my thoughts are with your words above...
and I pray that everything works out ok!
cheers |
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Re: To Be Determined By You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:53:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ok..I promised myself I wasn't gonna comment again today cuz all my comments are now going in twice...but I couldn' resist not commenting on this..
This poem made me so sad... tho I have no reason to be as far as my own life is concerned... But I feel the pain and longing in your heart and wish that you could have had that love from your Mom...
Hope things get better for you...
Hugs
Jenni |
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Re: To Be Determined By You
(User Rating: 1 ) by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 14th August 2004 @ 12:53:32 PM AEST (User
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a Message)
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Ok..I promised myself I wasn't gonna comment again today cuz all my comments are now going in twice...but I couldn' resist not commenting on this..
This poem made me so sad... tho I have no reason to be as far as my own life is concerned... But I feel the pain and longing in your heart and wish that you could have had that love from your Mom...
Hope things get better for you...
Hugs
Jenni |
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