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Looking Glass
Contributed by
Black13
on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 12:48:25 AM in AEST
Topic:
goodbyepoetry
|
I stand in gentle silence
swimming in unfound innocence.
No longer can I see my life
through a burning glyph.
Others say how much you lose
even when you can't see to choose.
Heaven falls perfect still
as love makes it's newest kill.
Ghost in the mirror standing on the wrong side.
Always there with something to hide.
There was no need to breath today
when all things went astray.
There was no angel's lullaby tonight
to sing asleep a baby right.
With no one left to hold you tight
trapped within what you thought was right.
When my words remain so dry
still refuse to let eyes cry
and sometimes it's just regret
that makes my skin forget.
Though I've tried to walk away
it seems so hard to walk that way.
Silence still remains in this place
when life has become a waste of space.
One night I know I'll drink it right.
One day I know I'll die.
One day mayhap I'll be.
Copyright ©
Black13
... [
2004-08-16 00:48:25]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 02:02:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Excellent write, Black!!!..
Haven't seen you in a while...
Jenni |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 12:37:59 PM AEST
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a Message)
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an amazing write....
pixie xx |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by katyqueen35 on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 01:08:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Very nicely written poem.... |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 09:39:23 PM AEST
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a Message)
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god, I love this... I love every word of it. Especially from the third stanza all the way to the end... simply breathtaking. It's incredible. I don't know what else to say. I'm gonna be reading this one over and over.
feeling suddenly nostalgic,
~ Dee |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Tuesday, 17th August 2004 @ 09:51:44 PM AEST
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Last three lines . . . damn . . .
This's near perfect, but I'm going to start babbling --can you actually babble in typing? I wonder-- and saying things I know I'll regret if I stay on this page and look at it any longer. So, bye.
--Nora |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by lostinmyself on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 12:29:07 PM AEST
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Wow...
If i ever thought it was possible to write a 'perfect' poem, i'm pretty sure this would be in the running.
Amazing write.
I loved every word.
Hope to see you back here properly soon.
*hugs* Phil xxx |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 20th August 2004 @ 01:09:02 PM AEST
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Though I've tried to walk away
it seems so hard to walk that way
Excellent piece - I too loved the ending lines, but thought these deserved special note as well. |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Saturday, 28th August 2004 @ 09:08:25 PM AEST
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You have admirable expertise at penning emotive, gripping themes in original images, making for some derned fine lines. I especially like the second stanza. The first and second stanzas set the tone for the piece quite well.
Slàn
Andrew |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Sunday, 29th August 2004 @ 05:43:52 PM AEST
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Looks like you've pulled it all together in one fine piece. Nice to see you on. So much here. Another very full write.
Stitch
(who has missed you) |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 31st August 2004 @ 02:48:07 PM AEST
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Great write Jeff!
There's an emptiness that eminates from this piece that tugs at the soul.
Well done. |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 05:32:18 PM AEST
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dude this was beautiful and a treasure to
read, but it was so achingly sad. I miss ya
man I hope that wherever you are, you are ok. Keep up the writing man.
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 11:27:49 PM AEST
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| Exellent poem! You're a GREAT GREAT writer :-) |
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Re: Looking Glass
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 11:29:09 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| Excellent poem! You're a GREAT GREAT writer :-) |
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