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Losin You
Contributed by
cj_ranson
on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 07:08:05 AM in AEST
Topic:
FriendshipPoetry
|
I think im Losin you
It's up to you, what to do
The thought of a loss
Breaks my heart
Breaks me to see us part
Friends are only friends when they wanna be
Took a blind man a minute to see
But still I can't help but love you
I wanted to run but you made me fall
But I still stand proud and tall
It dulls my thoughts
Endorphines flood my mind
And now im blind
I don't wanna see
What you've done to me
Some people will live a lie
Some people would rather die
I say live the truth
Live a life that is divine
Live a life like I live mine
I can love but I can hurt
Hate is just part of you
Nothing anyone can do
You won't catch me
Or break my fall
I suppose you wouldn't help at all
Im Losin you
And times wasting
Copyright ©
cj_ranson
... [
2004-08-16 07:08:05]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Losin You
(User Rating: 1 )
by alecfernadez on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 07:49:39 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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this was a very good poem, only thing I found was that some of the words you used to 'describe n rhyme' are used far too often in poems everywhere. I too have this problem, and it re-occurs through out my poetry. Although now I use a theasaurus more often.
Anyway congratulations for producing a decent piece of work, which is sad yet enjoyable to read.
Goood work
Alex |
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Re: Losin You
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stellar on
Monday, 16th August 2004 @ 10:54:03 AM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| I liked this. One line was almost like a line in a U2 song "The Sweetest Thing". One of my favorite songs. |
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