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Life With A Murderer
Contributed by
darkplaidbabe
on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 10:44:12 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
It happened last week again
She came in to my room and then
She saw what I had done while sleeping
And again her rage came creeping
I didnt understand at first
Its been bad before but this was worse
She tore me out of my warm bed
Grabbing my hair and pulling by my head
Dragged me down the hall and into the bathroom
Now I began to see my fault and my doom
Im sorry momma, ill be good I swear!
She threw me down, letting go of my hair
You left the candle burning you little *****!
Im sorry I said, bracing for the first hit
I was right indeed to brace myself
She swung at me so I hid under the shelf
But no, no, no she wasnt done
In fact she hadnt even begun.
Picked me up and dropped me in the tub
This isnt her I thought, its the drugs
But alas it was her standing over me
It was her taking pleasure in my screams
She turned on the water so no one could hear
The pain of her fists began to burn and sear
She hit my head against the hard, cold wall
By then I felt nothing, nothing at all
Suddenly the water was ruby red
This is it, Im gonna wind up dead
All the while she was screaming in my head
And never will I forget the things she said
Worthless, she called me, stupid and wrong
I cant die now god, Im too young
I wanted to scream out, stop, it hurts so bad!
She was so angry with me, why was she so mad?
She left me for a moment, alone there on the floor
Bleeding, hurting, I stared towards the door
I knew she was coming back to finish me off
I thought of my bed, so warm and soft
If only I were there, still in my own dream world
The pain suddenly came back and I curled
Back up as the blood spilled onto the tile
I would be beaten for that too, in a while
I needed to see my face, to make sure this was real
I pulled myself up by the railing, such cold steel
I looked in the mirror but whom did I see?
No one I knew in the least, a total stranger to me
My eyes were purple and blood dribbled down my chin
To know me you wouldve had to look within
The room was covered in blood, from where I didnt know
I heard her footsteps coming again; I knew I had to go
If I didnt get out I wouldnt survive
I wanted to make it to sixteen alive
So I ran down the hall and out into the yard
My body went numb, running so hard
I couldnt feel the tears streaming down my face
All I wanted was to escape from that place
I dont quite recall what happened next
I woke up in a room in memorial west
It was raining outside, like it had been for years
It was raining in my heart, thus forth came my tears
I didnt tell them what happened because I was afraid
I didnt know what they would do, what fuss would be made
But ill tell them all someday and sorry she will be
For all the horrible things shes done to me
I live with her now and it scares me to death
I never know when I may be taking my last breath
If she tried to do it once, why not try it again?
What if she succeeds this time, what then?
Wont someone save me from this prison of fear?
Do you hear me scream, do you know Im here?
I saved myself once but can I do it a second time?
I write my fears in these useless rhymes
If by the time you read this poem, my body is under the sand
Know that I did not die justly, but at her hands
And from this poem there is a lesson but one
Sticks and stones may break your bones, but words can get the deed done.
Copyright ©
darkplaidbabe
... [
2004-08-19 10:44:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 11:22:32 AM AEST
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a Message)
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wow, this is dark.......an amzing write
pixie xx |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitMyst on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 11:30:38 AM AEST
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a Message)
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I'm shaking from reading this. I PM'd you.... Hope all is okay.
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Puppy_dog_eyes on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 11:32:53 AM AEST
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Yes, it's a long write but you really threw your heart into it.
It was breathtaking, but don't worry, no puppy_dog_eyes was harmed during the reading of this poem !!
steve |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alina on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 01:10:55 PM AEST
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a Message)
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WOW!! Just send me massage -ok- girl. I've gone thorugh my problems with my mother and sooner or later enough becomes enough. It's hard because she is your mother and no matter how much you hate her there is still love and forgiveness in your ehart somewhere..... at least that's the way it is for me. GOD is only making you a stronger person through this all. Someday...... you'll gather the strenght to leave and to live. Keep searching for yourself and you'll find yourself in the most unlikely place. Keep the hope and courage and learn to forgive. You must not hate those who hurt you so much. Stand up, fight back and try to teach her love. Life will find you someday and you'll be happy and fianlly free. Just look to GOD for guidance. I'm here for you.
ALINA |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hoots on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 03:11:19 PM AEST
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Oh my God!! That was an amazing write. It gave me mad goosebumps! I hope you are okay. I've also had lots of problems like that, but they were with my dad. So if you ever need to talk... PM me.
Krystle |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by CrimsonTears on
Thursday, 19th August 2004 @ 11:29:35 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow this is absolutely amazing....im soo sorry tho for the pain that you go through and the fear that you hold...no one deserves to be treated that way....but you have a talent in writing....excellent...fantastic...breathe taking
Lots of Love
CrimsonTears |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 22nd August 2004 @ 12:34:29 AM AEST
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Sweetie, you have to tell someone what is going on. You cannot live like this and survive. No one deserves to be treated like this, not even an animal! You have to get help and let them know what occurs. Please consider what I am saying to you, or you will not see the next year of your life. Please get help.
Rita |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by kalika_vidya on
Friday, 27th August 2004 @ 02:50:28 AM AEST
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a Message)
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O my..it is breath taking..though sad and dark its fantastic and you have captivated
me..thanks for commenting on my poem.
K |
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Re: Life With A Murderer
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Sunday, 29th August 2004 @ 01:55:57 AM AEST
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A very strong and unsettling poem on child abuse. Its so visceral and detailed that it feels like the reader is in that bathroom, that house, maybe even that child. Dare I say it, some readers might even be identifying with the mother-abuser. A hard read, but a good poem nonetheless.
Spike |
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