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The broken one
Contributed by
SugimotoYouki
on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 02:24:58 PM in AEST
Topic:
Grief
|
crying, scared you curl up on the floor
the lies surrounding you confuse you
the words you hear hurt you
the sins your dark side commited break you
the secret whispers, unheard believed,
their truth hits you like a punch in the face
grinning friendly into your face
they stab your defenseless back
you're afraid of your own darkness
scared of showing up your truth
worried about beeing droped aside
fearing even more abuse
you, the broken one, the torn soul
lonenly and defenseless you're blinded with tears
but there's something you should remember
you were born a fighter
nothing to lose, but your chains
you fight for your only believe
faithful to the love
down with the paranoid self
all you can show is a lie
pretty doll-like mask
faked smile of glass
playing cold, unreachable
you have so much more to give,
to the ones that have earned it so hard
you'd gladly give your heart and life
believe them, you're more then just the shell...
Copyright ©
SugimotoYouki
... [
2004-08-23 14:24:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by artostuff on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 02:41:35 PM AEST
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| A good poem, I really felt it. |
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hannah_Heaven on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 03:25:13 PM AEST
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this is so sad,to be afraid of someone else is awful but to be afraid of yourself?!
it must be scary!...you can escape other people but you cant escape YOU and your thoughts and your mind...you can run but yourself being treads behind....you expressed this beyond my imagination is capable to dream,thank you for making me realise the truth of the real nitemare...
love han xx |
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by InnerBeautyQueen on
Monday, 23rd August 2004 @ 04:24:20 PM AEST
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ooh wow!
:::all you can show is a lie
pretty doll-like mask
faked smile of glass
playing cold, unreachable:::
i felt like this a while back "/
really good writting |
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stoney1 on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 07:23:43 AM AEST
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You've written a poem based on a mis-apprehension.
You've infused your sociopathic protagonist with a conscience,
thereby permitting us to feel sympathy for him/her.
In fact, a sociopathic personality, by definition, was born
without a conscience. They are not governed by any sense
of guilt or pity, or remorse for any of their anti-social actions.
Dahmer felt none of these emotions during all the time he
was committing his unspeakable acts against his victims,
and he felt no remorse during his trial. He sat in his chair
impassively during the victim impact statements, while scores
of people screamed their hatred at him. Most of them were
simply not able to comprehend that he felt no sorrow
or remorse over the crimes he committed.
This dis-connection from morality permitted him to kill a human
being with the same emotion as equivalent to that of stepping on
a bug. To him it was simply six of one, or half a dozen of the other.
It's all the same to a sociopathic personality.
So, I'm afraid your poem doesn't present a feasible premise.
Stoney |
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 08:56:42 AM AEST
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Although this doesn't define a sociopath or a person with sociopathic tendancies it does emit strong emotion and pain. Really it could be about so many types of personality and/ or mental disorders. Regardless, the poem is excellent.
Kie |
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Re: The broken one
(User Rating: 1 )
by SugimotoYouki on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 09:23:03 AM AEST
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dear stony-honey honey...
my own mistake....
seems like my poem doesn't show a few things as clearly as it should...
so I'll try to explain that...
maybe you remember that I was talking of a dark side and sins, right?
the person I'm writing about is a multiple personality...
one side is this "dark side", that comes pretty close to this case you described...
the other half is young, naive, a child you might say...
this child has to live with all these horrible things his other half is doing, plus it's living in a society that's doing nothing but to torture it...
and the only way that child sees is to always try to pretend to be this second personality, because somehow it implyes strengh...
so, we've all in one got a person that is a sociopath on one side and on the other only acts like it, to these who try hurting him...
anymore questions...?
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