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Purple razors
Contributed by
Ryoko
on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 11:06:28 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Purple neon highlights,
creating a perfect sharp line,
razor thin metal sliding,
taking all that is mine.
darkness fills my container,
the flesh i am forced to live in,
prefered living is in death,
silence overides the din.
complete unexpected collapse,
everything pieces itself apart,
emotions attach to my soul,
piercing it like a dart.
Hand prints cover me,
my identity is always on the inside,
no opening means they can't see,
what prompts my abrupt suicide.
fragile flesh covers me entirely,
my feelings all held in a boat,
i watch the pretty weapon,
a purple razor slitting my throat.
Copyright ©
Ryoko
... [
2004-08-24 11:06:28]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Purple razors
(User Rating: 1 )
by disillusioned on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 11:18:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| I understand where your coming from and I think you did a good job describing it. Very nice job! |
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Re: Purple razors
(User Rating: 1 )
by artostuff on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 12:58:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| I like this. Very good imagery. |
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Re: Purple razors
(User Rating: 1 )
by Alina on
Tuesday, 24th August 2004 @ 01:03:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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This poem " woke up" an unspoken depth
with in. Great and Truelly Talented write.
In your first stanza, " Purple Neon Lights, creating a perfect sharp line......" was great.
You asked if we know what you're talking about..... yeah... the purple neon lights are the
veins under neath your skin which make a perfect sharp line that the blade can follow. Keep Up the Good Write. I've been suicidal before... and your last stanza about the purple razor slitting your throat has often run through my mind as a better mean of suicide than just slitting your wrist. Well, sorry this is so long.
I look forward to more.
ALINA |
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