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I thought it was forever
Contributed by
lostinmyself
on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 01:14:39 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
Baby how could you?
How could you put me through,
This sort of heartbreaking pain,
You have filled my clouds with rain.
And baby how could you?
Leave me here feeling blue,
Then just turn and walk away from me,
sobbing, lonely, sad, angry.
I thought we were forever baby,
With no ifs, buts or maybes,
But you took my soul & smashed it,
Throwing our love into a muddy pit.
I guess forever meant less to you than it did to me,
I was nothing to you, i was too blind to see,
That to you those three words were just that, words,
I wish those 'i love you's' had never been heard...
'I love you' fell out of your mouth with ease,
You took my heart & you teased,
Built me right up into the sky,
Now all you do is make me cry.
And though now i know our love will never be,
Thankyou for teaching me how to be free,
Maybe it was best that you treated me this way,
For i am better off at the end of the day,
Now forever I will carry in my heart,
That you ripped my happiness apart,
Did you ever really love me as you said?
Or were your words just to see me into bed?
You taught me good, you taught me well,
Thankyou for ripping away your spell,
For now i know this is good for me,
From your cloying breath, you have set me free...
Copyright ©
lostinmyself
... [
2004-08-25 13:14:39]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 01:32:40 PM AEST
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| This is a good poem. Great job. |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 01:45:38 PM AEST
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hey Philly woo, it looks good :):):) thank you for helping me write this, couldn't have done it alone *hugs*
pixie xx |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 02:13:39 PM AEST
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Bravo! Bravo!
You two suit really well poetically speaking.
A commendable write!!!! Loved it.
Kie |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 02:23:05 PM AEST
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Well done, Pixie and Lost...
Excellent write
Jenni |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nazmythian on
Wednesday, 25th August 2004 @ 05:05:04 PM AEST
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A triumph as a collaboration. Beautifully written, both of you. Perhaps it opens the door to more ?
Nazmythian ~ |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 02:53:09 PM AEST
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| Nicely delieverd. Good work. |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Thursday, 26th August 2004 @ 03:27:08 PM AEST
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I know the feeling. What an incredible ending.
Stitch |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Tuesday, 28th September 2004 @ 12:09:29 PM AEST
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excellent writing here, what a poem, ...as this happened to me a year ago i am a bit unobjective though truely very moved:) hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: I thought it was forever
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 28th February 2005 @ 10:19:33 PM AEST
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| this was a good poem substance wise, but the presentation of it seemed too forced with rhyme scheme. something else that i saw was that in the second paragraph there was a list. lists are not very creative, and the things you listed can easily be illustrated to bring more power or emotion to the poem. |
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