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I Tried
Contributed by
Nazmythian
on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:14:03 AM in AEST
Topic:
StoryPoetry
|
( Sorry, I jus' spelt it, tha way I herd it )
When I woke up this mornin
The pain in my head
Was a good indication
I wasnt yet dead
And if I had tha chance
Id do it all over again
Wed been ridin all night
Tryin ta track Jessie down
Followed his trail
To a south western town
He was headed for Mexico
With a couple a his wounded friends
Now Im jus a farm boy
Whos been deputized
I aint never killed nuthin
Never taken a life
It was just a stray bullet
Least thats what somebody said
They rode into town
Guns a blazin for fun
Once the smoke had then settled
And all was said and done
A body was lyin in the street
My lil sister was dead
I took Pappys rifle
Down off a the wall
Rode into town
And I answered the call
For a few willin men
To go after that gun totin kid
We was hot on his heels
Been chasin him two weeks
Thought we had him cornered
Down next to some creek
With no way to escape
But ya know, somehow he did
He knew we was comin
An he set up a trap
Covered his trail
As they doubled back
And suddenly were the ones left
With no where to go
They come down out the hills
Shootin all that they got
The air full a bullets
The temperature hot
The only thing saved us
Is we had more men than our foe
But with nine of us wounded
And three been cut down
He rode away
And we lost some ground
And it took us a day
Jus ta patch up sos we could ride
Now I been shot in the shoulder
Got a bullet in ma thigh
Bleedin ta death
Starin up at the sky
Writin down these words
Please tell my Momma ~
I tried
Copyright ©
Nazmythian
... [
2004-09-03 11:14:03]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by all4him on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:23:10 AM AEST
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| hey AWESOME people written so well! Good job. keep up the good work |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by RavenShadows on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 11:23:23 AM AEST
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| I usually like the darker stuff, but this was awesome! Great write. |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 01:03:18 PM AEST
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You have great versatility. Not just stuck in the same venue all the time. I like that trait. This was good. I enjoyed it. Just put things in General if you don't know where to put them.
Rita |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by sweetangeluk on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 02:48:56 PM AEST
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First rate loved this
Love Sweetangelukxxx |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Friday, 3rd September 2004 @ 03:27:17 PM AEST
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I enjoyed this very much..Thank you for sharing it..
Jenni |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 05:00:52 AM AEST
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| Good way of story telling..thoroughly enjoyed it... venkat |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Willofree on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 06:58:10 AM AEST
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Well there you go again being versatile. It was great fun to read, really unique. I really enjoyed reading the "Western". Keep them coming....
Fun read, Willofree |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by FleurdeSang on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 05:39:52 PM AEST
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Well, we're jus' a rough n' tough cowboy, aren' we? Excruciatingly delicious, this taste of western life you have provided us! I have enjoyed two years of my existence in the country life, and it is beautiful! Very intriguing and versatile! I agree with all, this is an incredible write, and satisfyingly different! I am now reminiscing about the old times, as tears cascade down my cheeks... I miss it so much! Thank you for reminding me on how gorgeous and real the country life was, and forever shall be! The conclusion of this masterpiece was horrendously sad; this one is truly a heart wrencher! Dearest Naz, precious, talented poet, never stop writing! Keep ridin' on, cowboy! All my love to you! Once again, incredible write! Eternally yours,
Fleur de souffrance (Stephy) |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by critterhideaway on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 08:34:51 PM AEST
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| Really neat!! I liked this, thank you |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Monday, 6th September 2004 @ 11:32:37 PM AEST
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This is was 'just' in your head that morning??? I'd love to know what kind of coffee you're drinkin' over there - I should like to get some!
Yes - different... wonderfully different! Light and witty and still somehow tugs at the reader's heart. Personally, I think you've got it in the right category - 'tis one fine bit o' story tellin' afterall!
Feelin' rather bad fo' Momma,
SNM |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 12:01:48 AM AEST
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Well u shore picked it up so good that it takes one to the scene...Jessie James is a very great legand in these parts, (Southeast Arkansas USA)
Incredible writing.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy
this was in my fthers day and he's shared some of the tales etc.
a masterpeice!
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 11:23:35 AM AEST
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Well we'uns here in Texas just love ol' cowpoke ditty's! We need a topic: cowpoke ditty's! lol 'Cause you'uns gots it down to a tee! lol
Ok my english is not like that, only been in texas a year! lol But I likes the ditty,sadness and all! :-)
Angel always...joni |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadreckoning1983 on
Friday, 10th September 2004 @ 02:06:14 AM AEST
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| comical savvy and sad. this was a tornada ofa read.naz my good buddy youa let'em have it in this one. yippe kiyiya pardner.lol |
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Re: I Tried
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Monday, 24th April 2006 @ 01:19:25 PM AEST
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| Just got tolt 'bout this critter, said ya don't write much like this nowadays. Hope that ain't true. I'm a cowboy don't like ridin' solo on this site, as a poet, I mean. Great story, sad fer sis, and I think ya left endin' opportunity fer resurrection of the cowboy so's the white hat good guy wins in a healin' way. |
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