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EFFORTS
Contributed by
raqui
on
Tuesday, 5th November 2002 @ 03:30:00 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
We really try to be
What we look at and see
We avoid the mirror
So as not to face
The Flaws, The Worries, The Desires
And the lack of control
We have over these
Its good to continue, though
To try and try
To love and please
Those and These
Copyright ©
raqui
... [
2002-11-05 15:30:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: EFFORTS
(User Rating: 1 )
by PrEtTy-PlEaSe on
Tuesday, 5th November 2002 @ 08:51:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| although i think i would have written it in more detail i still think this is as good as a detailed poem..short and sweet :o) |
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Re: EFFORTS
(User Rating: 1 )
by raqui on
Saturday, 9th November 2002 @ 06:58:06 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Thank you for your comment. I do have other more lengthy poems. Perhaps I'll work on this one more to add more details. Thanks for the tip. I have more poems at poetry.com. Raquel Cortes and Raquel Grimila. I hope you can comment on my poems there too. Thanks.
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Re: EFFORTS
(User Rating: 1 )
by XXXsilvervoodooXXX on
Sunday, 13th April 2003 @ 03:35:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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hmmmm... this is good, but i think with something like this a bit more description or a couple very dominant words needed to be used, don't get me wrong.. its good.. but I think you could make it great with a bit more..
anyway.. good stuff. |
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