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ravaged
Contributed by
luinil
on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 02:25:17 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Ravaged
Relentless, another ambush lingers
Veiled in a mask of passing time
Unsteady, my sword held in shaking fingers
The enemys broken face is mine
Cold steel frees flowing river
Erie shadows cast by moonlight
Defeated, collapsed, gasp and shiver
No victor remains to end my fight
Peace cannot live devoid of war
Bad kills good for the balance they keep
Blindly forsaking what I searched for
Screaming whisperdo I wake or sleep?
9/4/04
Copyright ©
luinil
... [
2004-09-04 14:25:17]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: ravaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rhei76 on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 03:14:32 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
|
| Good write. Good conceptual thought. Good to read. take care |
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Re: ravaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by jeanie on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 03:41:46 PM AEST
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a Message)
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wow, wow, WOW, very cool!!!! I super loved the image your described, great way of metaphores and conclusion, all thumbs up!!:D:D
jeanie |
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Re: ravaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by jaeann on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 06:27:11 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| the enemy's broken face is mine......awesome line.....really good work.... |
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Re: ravaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Saturday, 4th September 2004 @ 09:40:45 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| amazing write. i agree with rhei. |
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Re: ravaged
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 07:27:33 AM AEST
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a Message)
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a brilliantly written dark write, you were defenatly having a bad day, but not all was lost, this poem was a result of a bad mood :) great poem,
pixie xx |
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