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Time without end
Contributed by
tabby
on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 01:58:12 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
This endlessness that I fear,
Draws more and more near,
Eternity, in the palm of my hand,
Strewn like sand all across this land.
I can smell deaths aroma,
His silent, artificial, imposing dogma.
I see my life, in all of its worthlessness,
All of my actions; so vain, so aimless.
Shadows surround me,
Until I cant see anymore,
The blindness is comforting,
My sins are bleeding,
My life is draining away,
But in your arms I want to stay.
Hold me and love me,
So I dont feel dirty anymore,
Then maybe God will love me,
And will take away my sores.
Dont turn your back,
Dont look away,
Because in your arms I want to stay.
Copyright ©
tabby
... [
2004-09-05 13:58:12]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Time without end
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 03:25:03 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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Its well-rhymed, yet a little straightforward towards the end. I prefer the intensity of the first, with these lines;
"I can smell death’s aroma,
His silent, artificial, imposing dogma."
WHich sound as though they're well-worked.
Keep writing. |
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Re: Time without end
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lionel on
Sunday, 5th September 2004 @ 07:37:12 PM AEST
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| Why are most poets so unhappy? I wish I could help make them more happy. I don't know why there is so much unhappiness in the poetry of YP.com |
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