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Corroded Emotions
Contributed by
bobotheclown
on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 10:59:31 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
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Blackened blooms
As these flowers melt
Before my acidic touch
Broken eyes brimming
With unspent anguished tears
(All that I have loved is gone)
Madness whittles away little at a time,
Sanity driven deep into the shadows,
Thoughts bubble in a cesspool of corruption,
Corroded emotions doomed to overflow,
Shaking hands stab at myself
Forlorn faces torment eternally
My fingers clawing at my chest
Tormented by visions of
The offending heart crying beneath
Fire burns deep within my gut,
Eating soft tissues raw,
Reddish rivers run unchecked,
The beginning agonies end
As sympathy swiftly fades
And fear cuts me to shreds
As I suffocate with regret
Contending with these losses I consume
Medication takes what little I have left
(Breeding new horrors within)
Breached walls split asunder,
Rupturing organs fail to contain,
Strength gives into weakness,
The cards of fate are dealt,
Forcing reapers hand,
one last spasm,
End brings the final beat.
Copyright ©
bobotheclown
... [
2004-09-07 22:59:31]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 11:12:30 PM AEST
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Extremely deep write!
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by shelby on
Tuesday, 7th September 2004 @ 11:54:52 PM AEST
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deep and dark chilling liked it alot both of you did a great job
Michelle |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by yellow_sundragon on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 12:15:27 AM AEST
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*mouth hangs open speechless*
this.... is.... great... I .... love... it....
Jaime |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Bohemian_with_a_pen on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 01:05:01 AM AEST
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| OMG, this is awesome. u two have such talent, id love to read another one by you! |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 02:30:49 AM AEST
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| This is the best dark poem of the day..those chilling poetic emotions are brilliantly expressed...I enjoy this immensely...venkat |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by parkman on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 02:52:41 AM AEST
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| Excellent, just excellent, we are all dealt cards of fate ty for sharing |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 05:32:34 AM AEST
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I sent granny and the kids to the movies and read this. Chilling and so full of despair, this is dark beyond words. Not at all for the faint of heart.
Very well done my friends
Barkeep!
Larry |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 06:06:28 AM AEST
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yes wow, this is very deep, I loved it, yes you defenatley shouln't read this to granny of the kids lol
amazing write,
pixie xx |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent_Composer on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 10:12:09 AM AEST
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| An excellent duo, written with such overflowing talent, I feel astounded that such imagination could come from only two, Bravo for such a beautifully chilly yet awesome tapestry of talent released. |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Destiny on
Wednesday, 8th September 2004 @ 06:00:57 PM AEST
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| Very powerful write |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Thursday, 9th September 2004 @ 10:26:38 PM AEST
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you guys rock my socks off i'm tellin ya.. an don't worry i don't have kids or grandmoms so i'm safe.. thanks for the warning.
you guys are great, i really enjoyed that write.. *applauds*
~Jekyll/waos |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Soulless on
Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 12:10:55 AM AEST
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WOW, I am in complete and udder shock. This poem flowed together so well. The words just melted yet managed to keep a deep and stable meaning. This is probably one of my favorite poems. Amazing word choice and metaphors.
Kisses,
~Soulless~ |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by JadedExistence on
Monday, 13th September 2004 @ 11:22:53 AM AEST
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Wow Joel, that's just....amazing. I don't really have anything else I can say other than that. Very...graphic, slightly disturbing, I love it.
Great job, both of you.
hugs,
~JadedExistence~ |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Monday, 20th September 2004 @ 11:01:20 PM AEST
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Excellent write, you two... Especially loved the last 4 lines..
Jenni |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Tuesday, 25th January 2005 @ 11:10:46 PM AEST
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| nice introduction. good cowrite. very creative verses to leave one spellbound. |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 07:49:47 PM AEST
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A good poem for sure. A beautiful canvas of emotions and torture.
i liked the line
Eating soft tissues raw,
Reddish rivers run unchecked,
especially the part about eating soft tissues raw, i liked that. |
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Re: Corroded Emotions
(User Rating: 1 )
by SensitiveSoAbused on
Monday, 25th July 2005 @ 07:51:18 PM AEST
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HOLY SH|T!
17 comments???
OMG
I feel lonely now.
I only ever get like 2
ahahaha good job you have lots of LOVERS!!!
^_^ |
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