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Hobo's song
Contributed by
Hurretje
on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 02:39:58 AM in AEST
Topic:
toughstuff
|
As I dwelled throughout this town
I could feel the people frown
What's he doing here by day?
Hasn't he a place to stay?
Calling out for help I said:
I've got neither home nor bed
Please gimme some bucks, alright,
So I can make it through the night
People smiled, their eyes went cold
Sticking to what they'd been told
Giving money's just a waste
Another bottle is all he'll taste
Now I'm trembling without sound
As the pink sun hits the ground
While the people head for home
I lock up my cardboard dome
All these days just come and go
People hasting through and fro
And I ask them, beg them too
Please, let me be one of you
Copyright ©
Hurretje
... [
2004-09-16 02:39:58]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 02:56:49 AM AEST
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Very sad but true, powerfull write!
It's really a crying shame that these things actually go unoticed but many fall into to situations that wreck havoc in peoples lives.
Great masterpeice 'cause many will see this and think twice before they pass up one again.
Gret job!
luv, huggs,
emy |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 03:03:58 AM AEST
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i really enjoyed this.
When i was youger i lived on the streets for 2 months just too experience it!
sounds crazy! but it's a completly different world.
wildejohnny. |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spike on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 03:49:50 AM AEST
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Buddy, can ya spare a poem?
You certainly captured the sentiments on both sides. Good stuff.
Spike |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by venkat on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 04:11:07 AM AEST
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"Now I'm trembling without sound..As the pink sun hits the ground..While the people head for home..I lock up my cardboard dome"
great paint life of a person in the evening .
:-) venkat
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 06:44:56 AM AEST
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This touched my heart. I wish no one was homeless, cold, hungry or unloved.
I really like this one alot. Very well composed.
Kie |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Pyrofungus on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 01:42:42 PM AEST
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this is great!...I wrote something similar caled A Bum...check it out if you want...
please comment on my work too
summer |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Thursday, 16th September 2004 @ 06:30:28 PM AEST
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well written, ive been on both sides, i always give, hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by thumper on
Friday, 17th September 2004 @ 09:25:05 PM AEST
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This really touched me. I see the homeless all the time. You never know if you should give them money or not. No one should be homeless!! Truely liked this one. Smooth read. Bravo, Hur.
Thumps ; 0) |
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Re: Hobo's song
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 23rd September 2004 @ 01:49:28 AM AEST
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I remember, when people complain that beggars will just drink the money given them, CS Lewis would say "I but if I had kept it, I would have drank it".
Well done!
Andrew |
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