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moments eyes
Contributed by
feathercut
on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 03:59:10 PM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
satin night
sleep you do so soundly
in mothers whispering eyes
in children's colored rooms
of dream
raven's night
sleep you cannot find
the drone of shreiking cats
shatter street dwellers glass eyes
and leave your puddles till they dry
ive forgotten how you feel
and so ive left you for the dawns
lies to break my wheels
i fall into you once again
because only here can we begin
starlit night
love is glowing with kind eyes
rain is kissing sweet goodbyes
dripping to the sea
falling deep
falling free
stormy night
crashing burning on the sea
ships thrown brutaly
thrown away from me
i sink
like a stone
shattered to the sand ive known
ive forgotten how you feel
and so ive left you for the dawns
lies to break my wheels
yet the sunlight is so new
born i am of the love of two
at sunset and sunrise
my heart will rest at moments eyes
Copyright ©
feathercut
... [
2004-09-18 15:59:10]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: moments eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 05:13:09 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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I really like some of the metophores and personification. these lines:
"raven's night
sleep you cannot find"
just kind of made me go, hey, thats me. My name is raven, and I am an insomniac, so I thought that was werid.
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Re: moments eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by waos on
Saturday, 18th September 2004 @ 05:53:05 PM AEST
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a Message)
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yeah you did a good job on the word choice and actual uses of literary tecniqes so to speak... not just random words thrown upon a page... keep it up
~Jekyll/waos |
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Re: moments eyes
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kittenfantastico on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 10:05:16 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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| Wow, nicely done! I understand that subject. |
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