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care bear kell
Contributed by
blackholesun
on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 07:12:51 PM in AEST
Topic:
happypoetry
|
my first memorie of sight was a blue care bear,
he had a rainbow o n his belly and a glare in his eye,
i named him kel we would lay on my blanket and gaze at the sky,
remember the tree,that kell would fly,
with cardboard wings,he would take a dive,
i miss the smoking circle at my house when i was9
i got to hang out with the big kids thy smoke with me the kind,
these happy things i remember when i chill out and rewind,
the acid trips i shared with the man who really cared ,
he is still mine after all this time ,my childhood memories are gone i look to a future with memories of stone.
Copyright ©
blackholesun
... [
2004-09-21 19:12:51]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: care bear kell
(User Rating: 1 )
by norticus on
Tuesday, 21st September 2004 @ 08:31:30 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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I hope you get ate by a Care Bear. This was teenage tripe, and memory is actually spelled with a y. Actually, that's half how I feel about it. The beginning was pretty good. I just found the end to be a little "porme" sounding and I hate "porme" poetry. It's a prefrence what can you do? I give this poem a 2.8 on the Nortiscale.
norticus |
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Re: care bear kell
(User Rating: 1 )
by deadheadpoet on
Wednesday, 22nd September 2004 @ 10:13:37 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| This was so happy at the beginning, then got sad at the end. Knowing you, my young friend, I know you were a child who was made to grow up to fast. Which that too is very sad. I wish your childhood could have been more days with your little buddy Kel, instead of coming into the world of drugs at such a young age. As for the comments from NORTICUS, that was extremely rude man. Try using some kind constuctive criticism. What are you so freaking angry about? Relax-what might be crap to you could be an inspiration to someone else. My Mother used to tell me when I was young,"If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all". Great advice from alot of Moms I'm sure. Besides I thought poetry was words and feelings coming from someones soul. Don't be so mean and judgemental. Much peace. |
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