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despairing eyes will never close
Contributed by
SensitiveSoAbused
on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 01:20:29 AM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
Still then lines of red
tilt now, parallel intersection
of blue...
This is the axis,
uninformative,
insequential consequential...
like dogs
like dogs
(bite writhe scream)
so hot so hot soooo...
feed me to my cerebellum as.
inhale red and yellow blackened
sand.
and of mind still falling
tens of tens of storeys,
twisting on lipsticked spine,
red rudy
Scarlet you see nothing
keeps me from this breakage...
and still
and still
shimmering saxaphone
echos soulfully,
white rooms with screams and
this is life...?
Copyright ©
SensitiveSoAbused
... [
2004-09-27 01:20:29]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: despairing eyes will never close
(User Rating: 1 )
by nintool3369 on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 03:05:42 AM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| this ones rather erratic when you read it at first....but on more glances and skims ....you can gain a feeling for what you are conveying here.....it's great!... |
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Re: despairing eyes will never close
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 08:24:00 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Found this poem, confusing at first, but upon reading it few more times, started to see what sort of mind you have.....to write such a hauntingly poem, so freaky, and yet so awesoem to read.... |
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Re: despairing eyes will never close
(User Rating: 1 )
by free2you on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 10:32:37 AM AEST
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| I wish I understood but I don't and I can't lie but I'm commenting...and I do like to hear the sax... |
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Re: despairing eyes will never close
(User Rating: 1 )
by ShadowDaughter on
Wednesday, 29th September 2004 @ 11:10:37 PM AEST
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a Message)
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I am so completely in love with this wonderful, awesome, amazingly wellwritten, etc etc etc poem. You have so much talent I've gotta be green with envy right now. Great work; especially love the ending parts.
keep it up.
--Nora |
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Re: despairing eyes will never close
(User Rating: 1 )
by Broken_Skin on
Saturday, 2nd October 2004 @ 09:34:13 AM AEST
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a Message)
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This was ok, it didnt really appeal to me that much
but it was interesting
x |
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