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Low-Lived Highway
Contributed by
stain
on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 08:21:22 PM in AEST
Topic:
selfstruggles
|
we're cruzin' at 140k and for once my soul keeps up
seemingly all of life's conflicts are littered over the highway in a trail behind us
for a few hours i'm able to convince myself i'm leaving the crazy haze to fade in the rear view mirror
how niave of me
bass rattles my insides, the stereo pumps silicone affirmations soon to be forgotten
there's a triumphant wannabe-goddess posed beside reminding me of my sisters of another lifetime and how we were eachothers souls
driven by the open road she accelerates into a different dimension, one where there's no braking and no limits
i push myself to follow, foolishly as i am buckled into the passenger seat
strange stumpy man with delinquent girlfriend makes up our beds
a gaze into his tired eyes reveals the lifestyle he might have led
nothing that i need
i'm appreciative but not interested, casual yet weary
immediately target girlfriend - hi you don't know me but i respect you immensely, look forward to being mates for a day or two
i preach the sisterhood
i speak of my feminine values as a borrowed religion
your boyfriend is talking to me while you sleep and my mates get heavy in the next room
a painful secret slips out in his drunken slur as i half-heartedly listen and nod
he gets suggestive, i withdraw
he accuses, i defend
he points out my traumas as if obvious to a stranger as i turn colder and angrier at myself for not covering the up thicker
i get offended, he goes to bed
the 40 watts die and the freedom of today can no longer be seen
the usual hauntings and lost lonliness creep up to strangle me
torments exaggerated by previously devoured cans of bundy and cola
he returns without clothing
towers over me, runs fingers lightly over my breast
paralysed, my subconscious screams danger alarms
my mind flees into disappearance
all conscious decisions evacuate
the demons inside me thirsting for chaos passion destruction and rage lead us out into the moonlight
spinning thoughts words grunts moans burst into flavour
obsure yet rhythmic undulations of mind and bodies
my demons are out to play, i'm back in my cage
its aged since i've last been remanded here
i'm not enjoying this
screen door slams, girlfriend screams, demons vanish
i'm spun
i'm back in my body again and sinking into shock
the demons that once destroyed me, that once held me so close to death are still lingering in my life
i thrash i scream i cry i long for escape from my fathers tormentors
words lies cries insults pleas assumptions defences are whirling around heads
inards churning with hate and regret
neighbours waking shouting complaints
and yet my soul is oblivious to the aftermath
it lies dorment in silent sorrow, in bleeding black knowing it is forever defeated
now knowing the true sense of running so hard and fast without a chance of finding any decent hiding spaces
Copyright ©
stain
... [
2004-09-27 20:21:22]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Low-Lived Highway
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 27th September 2004 @ 09:08:50 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
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| powerful and intriguing. |
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