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Unchained Hearts
Contributed by
Black13
on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 12:17:50 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
All my faults
they bring me down
it falls on me,
But one gentle kiss
from your lips
makes it right.
It makes me right.
Hold me down,
still my heart,
but don't run on me.
Will you be
the one to tame
my wild heart.
Define my world
don't bring it down.
Don't break me though
I've come to far.
Hold me down
don't push me 'round.
Set me free,
make it right,
untamed heart,
and a midnight kiss.
Copyright ©
Black13
... [
2004-10-07 00:17:50]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Fionndruinne on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 01:00:25 AM AEST
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This was truly, excellent. The more hopeful, wistful tone is perfectly captured. In other words, man do I identify!
May your sword never fall
Andrew |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Archie on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 04:07:43 AM AEST
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| Great poem. I wish you had a longer ending, atleast from a rhythym standpoint. Your poem left me wanting to read more |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 05:57:50 AM AEST
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Jeff?
Someone new in your life?
wistful, maybe...Hopeful, definately!!
Nicely done. |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 06:00:51 AM AEST
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Loved reading this one.
Nicely done. |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kie on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 09:45:10 AM AEST
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Awww this one gets to the reader's heart.
Just keep writing to her Black and with poems like this she is sure to melt.
May it all work out for you.
A very impressive poem.
Kie |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Thursday, 7th October 2004 @ 10:52:51 AM AEST
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a lovely write, very powerful and emotional,
great stuff
pixie xx |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by bobotheclown on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 01:37:31 AM AEST
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very good buddy was nice to read something
by you. Haven't talked to you in ages, but I
hope you are doing well. Keep up the writing
buddy!
Bobo (Joel) |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Friday, 8th October 2004 @ 04:10:42 PM AEST
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Interesting take on the mystery and myth of romance---the theory that one person---one white knight or genteel lady---can change another's life so completely. It's a fairy tale that just won't die.
Stitch
(who no longer believes in fairy tales) |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_K on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 01:52:11 AM AEST
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What an absolutely delightful write....
Jenni |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by faith_my_eyes on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 11:21:39 PM AEST
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| excellent write, I love the simplicity and beauty of this one. I can identify a bit with the longing in this poem, except I want to do those things for a man in my life someday, and not be tamed myself. |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 12:51:30 AM AEST
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| This is a great poem I enjoyed reading it! |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 11:16:04 PM AEST
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| Wonderful poem... I think I am beginning to love your poems. Expect more comments from me in the future. |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by MoonlitAngel on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 11:56:36 PM AEST
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| *sigh*... wistful, indeed. Funny, but... I just love the line "t falls on me". You know that song Falls On Me, by Fuel? I love that song. And now I'm off topic. And now I will go. |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Saturday, 30th October 2004 @ 02:12:35 AM AEST
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A masterpeice of beauty.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Thursday, 11th November 2004 @ 07:06:05 PM AEST
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I don't see this as 'simple', but maybe that's just me. It is the repeated "it" that appears in each stanza that tugs at me and tells me there is something more here.
Whether I'm right or wrong is of no matter - this is hope... a wish maybe that a kiss really could - would - change everything. I've wished the same, I think... I just haven't been brave enough to say so.
Not knowing if I'm entirely off here or not - I'll clicking 'ok' and dropping this comment anyway - Nicely done, Jeff-
SNM |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by EverlastingDawn on
Thursday, 12th May 2005 @ 11:30:53 AM AEST
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Interesting poem
I hope you get your heart's desire
Nice Write
~Dawn |
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Re: Unchained Hearts
(User Rating: 1 )
by Nonefound on
Wednesday, 1st December 2010 @ 11:14:10 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| like that well written. |
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