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My Pain on Paper...and so it begins...
Contributed by
TheSoulChildWritten
on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 03:27:09 PM in AEST
Topic:
EmotionalPoetry
|
i got so much pain bent up inside me
i ain't got nothin good to say
i wish i could hold on to one more dream
but they all went away
Got so much hurt in my heart
i try so hard not to feel
Can't even turn to God now,
cause i forgot that he was real
Can't remember the last time i ain't hear my parents fight
with so much hate in this house, got me searching for some light
or some love, that i ain't never seen since i was born
16 years of bein caught in this, but no one can see that im torn
can't even rhyme scheme this perfect, seriously, im so angry im sad
cause the way i live is unlivable
and the air i breath wreaks of bad self esteem
too many years spent of tryna look up to my mom and daddy
the same people that helped to bring me down
can't remember that last time my dad was here the whole day around
and my moms looks to me to take his place
but i seem to always do wrong
cause im the mistake...
from the time i could talk ive kept things to myself
and anytime i wanted to express a part of me
i feel shut down....
i been writin for more than 10 years
and my parents just found out
cause there's work, and stress, and work
and mom with her secret male friends
and dad with his mistress
they don't know that i know this...
but i know everything
and i keep it inside me
when my mom was pregnant with my brother
and told me she ain't want me
and there's so much more...so much more
that if i don't let go i'll go crazy..
i've kept everything in my heart
and still after these years
it won't let me be
But i love my mom so much
and i love my dad
and i love my family
but im hatin the kind of relationship we have
it's like im searching for some kind of reciprocity
for love that's been shattered while i was on bent knees
cause that's the kind of boost up i thought i should need
right now, can't even cry normally
kinda cry like im dyin
and my face has grown used to my tears
that when im cryin don't nothin seem to be there
but i ain't livin
especially since ive been selfishly stricken
with this urge to write the locked up part of me
i know that others have it much much worse
like those still in the struggle to be free
but really i can't notice that
when it' my issues first that i see
i could ask you to pray for me
but i won't
cause with God and everything
i don't know what to believe
Copyright ©
TheSoulChildWritten
... [
2004-10-09 15:27:09]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: My Pain on Paper...and so it begins...
(User Rating: 1 )
by n2dep2care on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 03:37:40 PM AEST
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Info | Send
a Message)
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An amazing river of emotion flows through your poem. I was overwhelmed and moved by its power. Beautiful, profound write from the depth of your soul. Keep it up! Well done!
Laurie |
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Re: My Pain on Paper...and so it begins...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Lovingangel4u on
Saturday, 9th October 2004 @ 06:09:38 PM AEST
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a Message)
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Oh sweetie wish I could give you a hug and make all your pain go away and everything right. My childhood wasnt to far from yours I felt this way many times.. But time moves on we grow and learn from what we experiance in life. Know you are a very special person, one of a kind in this world of 6 billion! Treat yourself right. Parents do a lot of stupid things and dont know the hurt they give at times but I know when you have your children you will not do the same to yours. Its hard to see at the moment but God does love you girl and I will pray for you.
Hugs
Take Care
~Lovingangel4u~ |
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Re: My Pain on Paper...and so it begins...
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Sunday, 10th October 2004 @ 12:37:42 AM AEST
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| good write. |
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Re: My Pain on Paper...and so it begins...
(User Rating: 1 )
by tifrob on
Sunday, 10th October 2004 @ 01:09:48 AM AEST
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You are definitly a writer. Your words affect your reader. My heart breaks for you. The best thing you can do ~ you're doing. Don't give up. God is real and He is with you. Keep writting ~ Keep feeling. You don't have to ask for a prayer ~ You're in mine and so is your family. God Bless You Sweetie.
Great Poem,
J~ |
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