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unidentified
Contributed by
Merry
on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 07:36:11 PM in AEST
Topic:
DarkPoetry
|
memories crumble in my hand
ashes blow away in the wind
defined by your howling insanity
that I once longed to cradle
in some motherly posture
or was it something more perverse
I could not begin to explain
what I felt for you in that dawning
knowledge when desire was provoked
by your tempting words
mouthwatering mistakes kissed
behind my ear when you spoke
so softly I could barely hear
fluttering of wings in the womb
that slept so peacefully without hope
bothered by your persistence
stroking my ego until it glowed
then you mauled me with derision
scorned my very breath
you watched me die
left me in a ditch
frozen corpse
unidentified
Copyright ©
Merry
... [
2004-10-11 19:36:11]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Spazzo on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 07:41:16 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
| Very sad. |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Essentially9 on
Monday, 11th October 2004 @ 08:46:54 PM AEST
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| strong write. excellent ending verse. |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 05:40:51 AM AEST
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a Message)
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a very sad and emotional write, deep,
pixie xx |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Former_Member on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 11:21:22 AM AEST
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|
I'm impressed!
Very well done, the flow moves you right from begining to end a rather scary end!
I get the impression of a smooth talker in a bar somewhere, picking up an innocent woman, raping her and murdering her.
A dark write indeed. |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Rakerman1999 on
Thursday, 14th October 2004 @ 08:21:41 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Gaille are you alright? Please PM me here or at yahoo.
Worried about my daisy
Larry |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Stitch on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 09:29:58 AM AEST
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Goodness...this one rolled the pit of my stomach. So often I feel I have lived your words. Sometimes I think I might have written some of them as well. I know I had something in my head about stroking an ego and never bothered to write it down. Getting lazy lately. More incredible stuff. Always...
Stitch |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Saturday, 16th October 2004 @ 03:11:27 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
Oooohhh Merry! I like this! From fabulous opening line to the "pow" ending... it is seriously well done. I absolutely must read more of your work... I feel rather bad that I haven't been to your page often enough.
Impressed and drawn in,
SNM |
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Re: unidentified
(User Rating: 1 )
by ladyfawn on
Wednesday, 20th October 2004 @ 01:05:12 PM AEST
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a Message)
|
hauntingly exquisite.... hugs n' love nessa
@->>->:- |
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