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Heartbeat
Contributed by
remy
on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 03:06:43 AM in AEST
Topic:
Lifepoems
|
in a while
i'll see a smile
sweeter than a summer rain
well at least i think.
couldn't dare
wonder what or where
i've gone aside
there's no otherwise.
and it's better not knowing just where
there's so much advancing right here
almost made it but i've lost every care
and my heart is no longer lost in tears
so much better not knowing i'm there
because i've made progress right here
wouldn't save it not even in my despair
i'm not there
now i'm last
then i've passed
the desert colder pain
no i wouldn't sink.
then there's grace
in the spent face
at worst i tried
there's no otherwise.
and it's better not knowing just where
there's so much changing right here
almost ate it but i've lost every care
and my head is no more buried in fear
so much better not knowing i'm there
because i've made substance right here
wouldn't save it not even in my despair
out over there
bleed free
between me and me
in and out of every pain
continued in pink.
while i won't know
just where to go
i won't hide
there's no otherwise.
stake heart's song...
in and all along.
i'm writing real
written reason
wrote rescue
in writ of rest...
not otherwise.
there's no otherwise.
there's no other wise.
Copyright ©
remy
... [
2004-10-12 03:06:43]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Row on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 04:37:57 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| very well written, and very beautiful |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Tanmaya on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 05:01:55 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
Good write.
I find this very intriguing and yet very meaningful.
I specially loved the line 'there's no other wise'-- I think that itself speaks a lot.
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by pixie on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 05:26:39 AM AEST
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a Message)
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awww a beautiful write,
pixie xx |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Kindredblood_dragon on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 06:12:40 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| Cool ryming poetry, intense to read, painting crystal clear images, and flowing emotions, beautifully written. |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by a_bear on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 06:18:29 AM AEST
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a Message)
|
ahhh Reme.. There's no other; wise??? LOL. I did a line similar to that..it was posted once...
apart and yet a part...It's a good line too...
how's it going? I hear from you when things are bad..when they're good..bah!! LOL rotfl... |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Daniela_Maria_Violin on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 08:14:52 AM AEST
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a Message)
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| this is so beautiful... :) |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by SkaterGirl16 on
Tuesday, 12th October 2004 @ 02:45:17 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| This is so great! Terrific rhyming, everything just flows together! Excellent job! |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by Hurretje on
Wednesday, 13th October 2004 @ 02:30:12 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Wonderful song, with a nice pattern and good use of words and images.
Hugs,
Hur |
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Re: Heartbeat
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Monday, 1st November 2004 @ 01:45:42 AM AEST
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a Message)
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Very thought provoking write.
luv, huggs, smiles,
emy |
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