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!!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
Contributed by
Written2bRead
on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 08:40:00 AM in AEST
Topic:
DreamsandWishes
|
Searching my way through imperfect words
I find that perfect light in your eyes
This tells me where I am
Gazing into the window to your soul
The best things can't be said when they are truly known
and right now words could never paint the portrait of you
You give love something to look on
like this meaning to my silence
like this light for my eyes
Whether this is chance or fate,
I adore the beauty of it
Sweeter than the nectar of your voice
is what wish I could pronounce
Deeper than even the echo in your eyes
is what I wish I could express
So words will never say
nor my eyes fully show
how I love you is seen when our eyes are closed
I dreampt this before and found,
that hoping is done better with eyes shut
No certain image could depict
and no words assigned could address
what is within the whole of you...
I just love you...
all of you...
I just love you.
Copyright ©
Written2bRead
... [
2002-11-15 08:40:00]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Dot on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 08:47:51 AM AEST
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| Written2bread, I guess you've found that elusive dream of love given and received. Love Perfected is my title. Dot |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Sexygirl on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 08:55:15 AM AEST
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| Well written.....My only words for a title would be...."Beauty Within" |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Jenni_Kalicharan on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 09:07:33 AM AEST
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Lovely poem..sorry I can't think of a name right now... (Geez,,there goes my dollar) :<(
Jenni |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by crucifixioncross on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 09:19:29 AM AEST
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eternal eyes
just an odd twist of a name causde i notice alot of blunt exact meanings titles and thats not always the best ones ya know and by eternal eyes its meant to maske you think. since the poem was about seeing love but not quite able to bring it to words because its so powerful you can see it etenally in ones eyes and never need a word so anyways if you pick mine i dont care about the dollar just the recognitioinn will be fine :P well thats the title and reason now ill tell ya how much i liked the poem
this poem stuff the its topic well and you put a lot of emotion into it and i really hope to see more of them like tthis because its one of my favorite types of poems (the love ones) well i guess thats all i have to say bu8t i did say quite a bit
peace out
-crucifixioncross |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by LOWMAN613 on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 09:38:49 AM AEST
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| I would title it " I just Love You!" Great words here I liked it ! Christina |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Valerie_Pearson on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 11:36:10 AM AEST
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1. 'Gazing into Love'
2. Portrait of Passion
3. Through the window of your soul
I gave you three to choose from, hope they help you some, beautiful write, |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by OreO on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 11:56:24 AM AEST
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This is absolutely beautifully written i can't even tell you how very special this is worded, it's so full of heart and depth, the only name i could come up with for a poem this deep would be "Your The Eyes Of My Soul", Thanks for sharing this one, Keep em' coming I'd like to read more of your poems.
.::´¯`·..· OreO·..·´¯`::. |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by WordPoet on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 01:40:40 PM AEST
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I usually try to take something from the poem itself. In this one you might try, " Imperfect Words" or "When Our Eyes Are Closed". For a more generalized title you could try, "All That You Are" or "Desperate Expressions".
In any case, good luck with your name search. |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by emystar on
Friday, 15th November 2002 @ 01:44:11 PM AEST
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YOUR SOUL THRU MY EYES
Very good!!!!! |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Written2bRead on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 08:40:51 AM AEST
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"This is absolutely beautifully written i can't even tell you how very special this is worded, it's so full of heart and depth, the only name i could come up with for a poem this deep would be "Your The Eyes Of My Soul", Thanks for sharing this one, Keep em' coming I'd like to read more of your poems."
lol, I think it's kinda ironic that you mentioned how well worded the poem was when it merely said that words could never be enough. Just goes to show how much Silence can say, how one can be ironically speechless because they know too well that they behold something too beautiful for full expression... as well as too beautiful for full inpression, to take it all in. Thanx for the comment, I loved it. The assurance that someone read what I wrote is very warming...
hmm...
maybe I should name all my poems "!!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE TOO!!!" and they'd get more reads. Check out my other stuff if you can. Thanx, lots of love |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by Written2bRead on
Saturday, 16th November 2002 @ 08:52:28 AM AEST
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hey, thanx for the comments/suggestions! I like the way you think. The thing about picking something from the poem is that it has so much in it. It's the result of a lot of thinking and a lot of feeling and it turned out to be a few really strong points. That makes me wonder if I could take it apart and get WAY into each section yano? It could be longer, but maybe it'd lose potence... I'm proud of this one, about as proud of it as my other stuff. Don't think of me as a "perfectionist", I'm just a man who always needs to know how I feel.
and since I'm already saying a lot about this whole comment thing, I'll tell you a little more just for the quack of it eh? This is my first 'love' poem 'cuz it's about being in that position of not being able to express something so beautiful for seemingly the first time. I'm writing something else about being speechless and feeling something I can't rationalize at all... I'm usually quite rational.
anyway, sorry I just went off or whatever, but "Desperate Expressions" is a good idea for that next one that I'm writing and your titles are tasteful... I'll have to read you up.
Jared Marquez
L8sauce>stikker4life |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by herecomesthesun on
Tuesday, 19th November 2002 @ 01:43:32 PM AEST
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| hey look! i found it! *pat on back* unexpressionable... or ... this portrait you paint for me.. or... ICED TEA. heh, yessp. |
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Re: !!!HELP ME NAME THIS ONE!!!
(User Rating: 1 )
by AngryPrincess on
Monday, 14th April 2003 @ 03:39:52 PM AEST
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wow, greatpoem Jared...i can tell you really took time on this one, put a lot of thought and emotion into it and its beautiful... i think i would call it "Blind Portrait of You" ~or~ "Eyes Wide Shut" because you're talking about something you can't see, but you can feel it and taste it and touch it and know that its there and beautiful and real... :O)
hope you like my ideas
Lindsey |
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