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Fate
Contributed by
macmcgovern
on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 09:29:20 PM in AEST
Topic:
MiscPoems
|
Wrapped in a web,
of preconceived deceit,
cornered by the sound,
of their retreat,
that echos,
throughout the halls,
as they silently scream,
in the throes of their defeat,
lost in hopelessness,
brains on fire,
feeling the heat,
intensity visible,
in tightly clenched teeth,
they would never admit,
they were beat,
determined to accomplish,
this hated feat,
their ebb of lifeblood bittersweet,
as slowly,
then rapidly,
panic spreads,
into the street,
to dissipate quickly,
as they form and debate
the standardized test,
that will decide their fate
Mac
October 2004
Copyright ©
macmcgovern
... [
2004-10-19 21:29:20]
(Date/Time posted on
site)
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Re: Fate
(User Rating: 1 )
by Silent-No-More on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 09:50:58 PM AEST
(User
Info | Send
a Message)
|
Great write! You caught me off guard at the end.... I had something entirely different in mind up until the last two lines.
I love a good surprise ending. Nicely done!
SNM |
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Re: Fate
(User Rating: 1 )
by Live2Die on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 09:57:47 PM AEST
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| HAHA wowzeers. the end is a total surprise! I was expecting something ttooottallly different,AWESOMENESS!! |
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Re: Fate
(User Rating: 1 )
by Ronald on
Tuesday, 19th October 2004 @ 10:40:43 PM AEST
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a Message)
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| WHOA!!! This is such an amazing write!! You're a good writer indeed :-) |
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